Recently I have been a little more open about this very personal topic and I've gotten to watch God use it to start some amazing conversations... But it's still a little hard. And still a little scary.
Here's some background:
About two years ago I started having panic attacks randomly. I thought they were solely caffeine induced, but quitting coffee didn't get rid of them. The attacks continued consistently... Some more severe than others.
But each and every one ended with me in my room, sitting alone in the dark, stuck in a very dark mental and physical space.
They make me feel like I am going to die.
This past April I began having panic attacks almost on a daily basis. My extremely patient mamma would sit with me through a lot of them. We went to the doctor and I wore a heart monitor for a brief time this summer, but there were no medical results. Yay God! There is nothing actually medically wrong with me and since summer has started, I've had only two attacks.
But anxiety is very real and very powerful. My mind and my body have a lot to fight through and I know the fight isn't over yet... But I know God meets me there every single time. He has brought me so much peace and comfort in the dark and horrific places.
He meets us where He brings us.
He is not leaving us alone to suffer.
He is working in you and through you.
There is so much grace and love and glory to be found in something even as scary as a panic attack. This morning in church we heard the message that God sees us, meets us, and loves us even when we are broken, scared, angry, and confused.
It can be so hard to trust and have faith.
But He is good
and there is purpose in the pain.
I think that's pretty life changing. Happy Sunday, friends.
• 📷 - @up.and.to.the.left
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