I'm really struggling today.
My heart sank when I saw the letter from the consultant. I was hoping with my all heart it wasn't a tear and I'm beyond gutted. How do you get a tear in your hip from running?! It makes no sense to me.
I know I should be focusing on the holiday we just booked, that I should be thankful I'm not in constant pain, that I can still swim and cycle with no pain.
I know I'm jumping to conclusions, I know I'm presuming, I know I'm basing my conclusions on what happened to me 6 years ago, where I lived with a torn labrum in my right hip for 6mths, then another 11 months from seeing the doctor to finally getting it fixed through a 3 hour surgery, then 5 months of rehab.
I need to focus on what's coming up this weekend, lazy morning with monkey having pancakes for breakfast, scooting to the park, cuddles and general cheekiness. Then parkrun juniors with him Sunday, followed by a nice long cycle ride to my happy place with a friend. Might even go to the cinema.
Doubt I'll stop the unhappiness creeping in, doubt I'll stop myself dwelling or crying. I can but try. But right now, that spiral is pretty slippery, and there is a rather large black dog sat at the bottom waiting for me 😢
#struggling #spiralling #depression #thinkhappythoughts