My hair is shorter.
My bones are easier to notice.
And i'm scared, because i'm not scared.
It's seems so easy and fine, even when i know for sure that this is not right.
"Everything will be fine, it won't hurt, it's easy, it's SAFE".
I know it's bad and even then the toxicity on my brain makes me shut.
"It will be fine, sweetie".
I'm afraid of falling again.
I'm afraid of the relapse.
But my bones are easier to see, easier to count.
And i know it's not right, and i don't want to go back.
But it's just that it seems so easy... I would be horrible but happy, again.
I'm worried, i'm ashamed.