fakespeare on Instagram

jared paulen

fauxtographer

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Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger, but @aspenorpennnn does spend an awful lot of time prospecting the land for valuable mineral deposits

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Feedin time feat. @aspenorpennnn and my breakfast skull n crossbones art installation

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@aspenorpennnn just gave birth to my new favorite son

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My favorite (only) brother @joshington_ is marrying some lady (@lizziefuhr) who is now (by actual lawz) my sister. so if you have something to say to her, be a man and say it to my bodyguards face I DARE YOU. Love ya sis #sistergoals

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Blondes really do have more fun. Now I have to ease into it and get my tips frosted im not ready for this amount of fun

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My mom is gonna HATE this. My dad will be like, “what, no knives?”, and the rest of my followers will undoubtedly screenshot this for the ol’ spank bank

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I just flexed in front of this mirror and it exploded #buffdudeprobs

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Excuse the unsolicited deck pic, but @kronadelic painted these bad boys and I can honestly say this girl is Vincent Van Gogh-ing places

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