I want to rip my skin off ha :)
I can’t look in the mirror without feeling sick. Seeing that my chest isn’t flat, or any of my curves. My facial features. My weight doesn’t help either. It makes me look really curvy and ew. I hate speaking to people, another reminder that I sound like a girl. I can’t pass due to safety and I wish I could. I try to stealth pass but I do and I think it’s not working at all. I can’t stand to hear she/her used for me, I can’t hear it or I’ll feel ill all day. I wish I could be out and wear my binder all the time and get too surgery and T and feel like myself. I was terrified to come out in fear of being kicked out or disowned (and when I did come out, I was disowned, but at least I get to live in my house). I don’t have the means to finically support myself right now. If I could wake up cis, I would. I wish I never found out I was trans. It’s hard, shitty, and scary. I just want people to see me as Kadin, a boy. I’m grateful for my friends. But I already know that my family doesn’t accept me. I wish I wasn’t this, that I didn’t have to go through this. But I do..
I also hate faking I’m a girl. It’s exhausting to play two different people all the time.
Went to the pumpkin patch to pick up some thicc boys
APPRECIATION POST OF MY FRIENDS (that I met at school) THAT ACTUALLY DEAL WITH MY BULLSHIT💞💖💝💕💓