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j e m u e l l e f r a z i e r

🌙 •life in color•homeschool•pnw native🎄 •reflections of a pondering soul •perspective •mother •wild wellness:@opal_moon_oils ・ηαтυяє• кη🌔ωѕ •вєѕт

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Creating family memories feels more important now than ever. Everything reminds me of how much Kirra loved the holidays. She would have loved to come with us to the Holiday Port Festival. She would have loved to see Penelope get her face painted, to see Atticus jumping and dancing so excitedly at the snow machine, and to see how mature and independent Olive was acting. Atticus had some very special time with Grandpa too. The kids love him and he adores them. Every moment with Grandpa is a gift. Family is a gift, and when the ones you love are gone memories and pictures are all you have. I intend to make as many memories and take as many pictures as I can. I hope your Sunday is fulfilling.

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As I navigate this path of grief I am very aware that so many have walked this path before and yet it is unique to each of us. . . I am keeping my heart open. Allowing tears to flow as they come. Allowing myself to feel all the love as beautiful memories flood my thoughts, but I’m not going to lie, I’ve also felt upset. That this is unfair. I’ve felt confused. Even angry at times. . . There is such a mix of emotions, and I know I have to just walk through all of it, feel all of it, but keep moving forward. Keep walking down this path knowing that, although the pain of losing Kirra will never go away, these feelings that are spinning like a tornado will eventually settle. . . I generally try to give a positive spin on my writing. I try to bring it back to the light because I know that although we may go through the deepest darkness finding the light is always our choice and it is always there if we choose to see it. The light is hard to see right now, but that’s ok. I know it’s there, and I’ll find my way back to it. . . Those of you who have grieved a loss know this pain all too well. Those of you who were loved by Kirra grieve with me. This is the painful part of our path through life, but we can all find peace in knowing that we will be reunited again. #griefpath

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The love that I had for you, the blessing that you were to me, the amount that I miss you. This is a story that will take time to unfold into words. Kirra, your life was such a gift to so many, but I want to share what you were to me. I want to keep your memory alive with stories of your love, your wisdom, your friendship, your heart.... your essence. Thank you for living. Thank you for welcoming me into your heart. I know time will bring healing, but the void you leave will never be filled. You will remain in my heart until it’s last beat. I miss you, Kirra. I miss you more than I can express. My current consolation is knowing that you are free. And I am more aware than ever how blessed I am to have known you.

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How does a child understand loss? How do they process grief? At what point do they grasp the permanent nature of loss? . . These are questions I never imagined I would ask myself at this stage in parenting. I never imagined answering questions from my 5 year old daughter about whether a person can be put back together. I never imagined having to explain to my 7 year old daughter that although asking God to bring life back to someone who is gone is sweet it will not actually bring their soul back to their body. . . Maybe it’s easier for kids to process loss than adults. Maybe I’m expecting a big reaction that isn’t meant to be a part of their grief process. I am filled with questions that only time will answer. I am filled with the deepest pain that comes with losing someone too soon. . . As I find the words I will share more. There is so much to say, but words don’t do justice. . . I continue to appreciate all the love being sent our way. I have not responded to every comment or message, but please know that I have read them all and many have brought me to tears. Continue to bare with me as we grieve. Thank you for the love and prayers. . . Sending love and light to you all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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A flash back to the first day of my trip to Chicago. A foot loose and fancy free walk down Michigan Ave with my BFF - @epikbrandonfamily - Enjoying the sights and absorbing all the wonder of the #windycity . . This was only a very short time ago, but somehow it feels like a distant memory. So much has happened since. I came home amped up to rock my business, but life had other plans. My heart has been broken and expanded. I’ve hurt more, loved more, and learned more than I have in a long time. The challenges I was facing at this time have taken a back seat and seem almost trivial now. . . We have all experienced hardship. We have all hurt. My struggle is not unique, although it feels that way in my heart, but it is in these extreme hardships that we find new strength. It doesn’t always feel that way when you’re in the midst of it. Sometimes you feel as though you’ve been stripped of all your strength, but you keep walking forward and you will find your strength on the other side. . . Despite not actively pursuing my business it’s still growing. I’ve even ranked up since Chicago, and none of that was by my own doing. I’ve had an amazing team placed below me, and I couldn’t be more amazed watching them rock their businesses. . . In this I hope to encourage you that stepping back when life hits hard is not failure. Stepping back is not the same as giving up. I have plans in the works to share my wellness journey, which actually seems more important now than it ever did (and it’s always been very important). I am humbled by the team beneath me. I am grateful for the tools I have to support my family’s wellness and emotions, especially right now, and I see even more now how important it is to get over my fears of sharing. . . Keep us in your thoughts. Keep us in your prayers. Keep sending us all the positive vibes. And if you’re struggling it’s ok to be broken, but keep walking forward. . . I’m formulating a new project for sharing my wild wellness journey. This feels like the most important message right now. I’m not pressuring myself to stick to deadlines though so just keep watching for updates. . . Sending love and light to you all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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“The beauty of the natural world lies in the details.” . -Natalie Angier . . Today: I am grateful for sight. . I am grateful for for touch. . I am grateful for thought. . I am grateful for love. . I am grateful for memories. . I am grateful for time. . Let me never forget.

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“Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.” -John Muir

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Currently contemplating: . . My attachment to things. What I need vs what I want vs worthless junk I struggle with letting go of. . . The answer seems to lie in “less,” but my mind struggles to turn this from a idea to an action and then to a lifestyle. . . This is where my mind is today. Desiring less. Have any tips? . . #minimalismenvy #wheredoistart

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I’ve been wanting to test out this phone photo feature for a while now! I don’t have anything fancy to say, just YAHOO! This is fun. I need to perfect my technique, and I should probably use a tripod instead of relying on my unstable hands, but I still like how it turned out. This is one of our favorite spots to visit on the trail. ❤️ #iphonexphotography #notreallyaphotographer #picturesarefun

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The holidays feel a little different this year.... . . Although on the one hand it feels difficult to get into the spirit, on the other hand I feel that we are getting a hard reminder of how important it is to keep the spirit alive, create positive memories, and love on each other. In the end, life is made up of memories. The hard memories mold us and make us stronger, and the good memories are what life is all about. They’re what we look to when the struggle gets real.... super real. Memories of fun adventures, family gatherings, play time at the park, baking days, or even just quiet calm and snuggly days at home become elaborately told stories and as the years roll on some details are lost while others seem to appear out of nowhere and eventually these simple memories become family legends. . . Thanksgiving Day I was filled with mixed emotions. The pain of our current family struggle was heavy, but my awareness of all that I have to be thankful for was also very strongly on my heart and mind. . . The kids and I had been sick all week, my husband was sick on Thanksgiving Day. I took the kids to my sister’s house for a family breakfast and when we got home it was just us. On a day of the year when we usually have a day full of planned family time, we found ourselves at home, just the 5 of us. Sick and exhausted we decided to take a simple long drive down #chuckanutdrive It was raining and cold, but beautiful. We pulled off the road just for a moment. Heath took the girls for a short walk while I stayed warm in the car with Atticus. Upon their return Olive was beaming and insisted that she show me where they walked so her and I went out for a cold minute to walk the short trail and enjoy the beautiful and foggy view of #samishbay It was one of those simple memories that we will draw back on. The legendary Thanksgiving family drive down Chuckanut. These kind of memories are what life is made up of. The simple moments together. I am thankful for the reminder of just how important these moments really are. ❤️ #thankfulformemories

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HEY HEY!! It’s..... . 🎄Shop Small Saturday🎄 Here’s some reasons to shop small today: . 🛍Soo many local shops are offering specials and discounts today!! 🛍Find practical and unique gift items! 🛍Local shops create space for local culture to develop and they bring the community together. . 🛍You’re supporting a real local family who worked hard and took great risk to follow their dreams. . 🛍It’s Shop Small Saturday!! Isn’t that reason enough?!! 😜 . . Here’s some specials running this weekend from a couple Magnolia St shops! Betty~Lou’s: @downtownemporium . 🛍20% off ALL Clothing!! Hours: Saturday (today): 10-6 Sunday (tomorrow): 12-4 . Hilton’s Shoes: @hiltons_shoes . 🛍20% Coupon in the Bellingham Herald! . 🛍50% off Shoe Rack😱 . 🛍Buy 3 get 1 free Smart Wool socks! 🛍Enter in store TODAY to win $150 Store Credit! Hours: Saturday (today): 9:30-5:30 Sunday (tomorrow): CLOSED . . Have a wonderful Saturday and remember to SHOP SMALL for the holidays!! ❤️ . . . . . #bellinghamwa #bellingham #pnwwahm #pnwfamily #bellinghamfamily #bellinghammom #bellinghamlife #cityofsubduedexcitement #pnwonderland #localfashion #bhamstyle #dtbham #momfashion #pacnw #pnwfall #shopsmall #localboutique #lovelocal #buylocal #shopboutiques #momtreprenuer #momboss #yleo #oilylife #happyoiler #essentialoillove #wahmlife #thebellinghamoiler #shopsmallsaturday #smallbusinesssaturday

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Good morning everyone. Today is the day! Today is the day that we spend time with family and give thanks for all the things that we often take for granted. Look around you. There are countless things to be thankful for. I am thankful for quiet peaceful mornings when I wake up before the rest of the family, I am thankful for hot coffee in my favorite mug, I am thankful for a warm home to sleep in, especially when it’s cold and raining outside, I am thankful for life, for lessons learned, I am thankful for family and friends, and I am thankful for memories. So so very thankful for memories. I could go on and on. There is so much to be thankful for, you guys. I hope you have a satisfying day. I hope you spend it with people that matter to you, and whether you’re with the people you love or not I hope you spend it putting intentional thought into the things in life you take for granted and giving thanks for those things. . . I would love to have a feed full of thankfulness. I could use that kind of light right now. Soo... tell me something that you’re thankful for!! Could be anything! Family, job promotion, clean socks, anything! Share something you’re thankful for and then put your phone down and go be with the people you love!! . . I will be announcing the Shop Local winners today!! I’m super excited about that!! I’m not sure when I’ll do it exactly though because my main focus today will be spending time with family (as you should also be🤨). So!! Don’t sit and stare at your phone waiting to see the winner announcement! Check back later tonight or early tomorrow to see the winners I will draw today. Best of luck to you all! I’m super excited to see who wins!! . . Ok! Tell me something you’re thankful for and then GO DO YOUR THANKSGIVING THING! 🧡🦃🧡 #happythanksgivng

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Being one day before turkey day I thought it would be fun to share this memory. This was the first time I ever baked a turkey, which was 2011. Here’s a little fact about me: I’m completely grossed out by raw meat. I believe in our place on the food chain, but I also empathize with vegetarians. . . My mother-in-law walked me through the whole process and she also took this photo too. This is a really special memory. 🧡 . (Edited to correct: My husband took this picture to send to his mom because she had given me all the detailed instructions and I wanted to show her that I did it!! Seriously can’t even trust my own brain to remember things properly🥴) . Here’s the original caption: “Stuffing my very first turkey. My gag reflex was working overtime, but it turned out really yummy! We had a turkey dinner with it, I made two turkey pot pies with it, we still have some in the freezer waiting to make turkey soup, and I have lots of broth leftover for making yummmmmy gravy.” . . I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and seriously, count your blessings. Be thankful for the time with family, with friends, for the provisions you are blessed with. We all have a lot to be thankful for. I encourage you to take some time to really ponder all those things that we often take for granted. The relationships AND the things. Sending love and light to you all! 🙏🏼🦃

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I used to always say “when it rains it pours,” and I haven’t come to find that to be incorrect, but I’ve wondered a lot more lately if when things get bad maybe they get worse because of how focused we are on the negative. Maybe we are in a sense welcoming more bad because we’ve mentally accepted that it’s going to get worse. If you’re familiar with the law of attraction this isn’t a new idea to you. There are times I feel that I completely agree with this idea and other times it seems a little far fetched. . . Being in times of immense emotional, physical, and mental difficulty cause my mind to wander and many things come into question. One being, why are we all sick right now? This last week has been hard on so many levels. I have cried a lot, laughed a little, I’ve faced the depths of my love for another in a way that I can only compare to the love you feel when you hold your newborn child for the first time, and this difficult path is only beginning. So I have to ask myself; why are we sick? Is it merely exhaustion or have I somehow welcomed this in? I don’t have an answer right now, just a question. Now is time to focus on wellness for my family. We need our strength for what’s ahead. . . You friends and family have been amazing through this hard time, and the prayers of those who do and do not know us has been very appreciated. I appreciate you all respecting our privacy and bearing with me as we face some pretty heavy challenges. I do believe that these questions I’ve raised are a sign that I need to start shifting my perspective. I need to step back a little and find a way to look for a positive point of view here. I don’t know how yet, but I have to try. I don’t have all the answers, but I will never stop seeking them. . . Now about those Shop Local shenanigans!! You guys have been so incredibly supportive and helpful in making this possible. I am so blown away by the attention it has received even with me being a little distracted and unable to engage. What a wonderful community I have found here. Seriously love you guys so much! Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️ Now if you haven’t entered and you live around these parts go for it!

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🦃GIVEAWAY CLOSED!!🦃 🎉CONGRATS🎉 to our giveaway winners!! @stephlynnette0690 & @janethodgin 🥳🎉 Please DM me for instructions on how to claim your AWEOME prize!! Thank you all so much for participating!! 🎄SHOP LOCAL!🎄 Me and a few of my favorite Downtown Bellingham shops on Magnolia St want to make shopping downtown this weekend even better for you all soooo…. Enter here and TWO of you local Bellingham folk will receive: . •$100 to Betty Lou’s Downtown Emporium •Holiday Room Spritz with 5ml Christmas Spirit Essential Oil Blend from me! •$10 to The Union Coffee Shop •10ml Essential Oil Roller blend - 1 winner gets Immune Support - 1 winner gets Emotional Support. Both get a @whimsyandwellness healing stone roller top from me! Aaaaaand........ •$100 to Hilton’s Shoes!!! . . 🍂TO ENTER: >>Follow: @jems_opal_moon @downtownemporium @hiltons_shoes >>Like this photo on each page 🍂BONUS ENTRIES: >>Tag all your local Bellingham friends in separate comments here on this post on my page! Each tag is an entry so tag away!! >>Tell me your favorite local Bellingham shop and why for another entry!! MUST BE IN BELLINGHAM AREA TO WIN! . Winner will be selected on Thanksgiving Day!!! Must follow all the rules to qualify to win!!! Get the word out folks!!! This is a good one!! Also, keep watching my stories for sneak peaks of the the prize AND for more Thanksgiving Weekend specials from Betty~Lou’s, Hilton’s Shoes, and Young Living!! . 🎄 GOOD LUCK! 🎄 . . . . . #bellinghamwa #bellingham #pnwwahm #pnwfamily #bellinghamfamily #bellinghammom #bellinghamlife #bhambossmom #pnwonderland #localfashion #bhamstyle #dtbham #momfashion #pacnw #pnwfall #shopsmall #localboutique #lovelocal #buylocal #shopboutiques #momtreprenuer #momboss #yleo #oilylife #happyoiler #essentialoillove #wahmlife #thebellinghamoiler #shopsmallsaturday #blackfriday

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