An early #transformationtuesday because I've got some thoughts on my mind that just can't wait...
Reverse progress...or just finding balance?
A couple of months before the wedding, I went into hyper-lean-down mode. I descreased the amount I ate, pushed myself in my workouts even harder than before, and fell in love with the feeling of being lean.
While my body was healthy, my mindset wasn't the best. I missed out on opportunities to eat out, be with friends and family, and to indulge in things I love just for the sake of being small. I
I felt great, but was it really worth it? What's even the point of being lean? These are things I'm still pondering as it's hard to see my body change in ways that society would deem "backwards progress."
After the wedding, I really let myself just enjoy life, as I should have. Working out got pushed to the back burner, and I ate some of the best meals I've ever had while spending time with my new husband and genuinely just living, and loving, life.
No restrictions. No telling myself "no, don't eat that." Just enjoying all the things I'd missed out on the few months prior.
So this is where I am now. I'm not the leanest I've ever been, but I'm still HAPPY. My body is still healthy. And I've made some of the best memories of my life in the process.
Yes, it's hard seeing my body change in ways I've been conditioned to dislike. But when I think of all the joy I've had...totally worth it. I'm still battling those negative thoughts telling me to lean back down, that I need to "get my abs back," that it's better being smaller, but I'm searching for balance.
Like, damn, why do we let ourselves believe that missing out on our lives is worth is to shed a few extra pounds? Why should your size determine your worth? (Hint: it shouldn't and doesn't)
You don't have to be small to be happy. You don't have to sacrifice things you enjoy to love your body.
Just because you're not your leanest doesn't mean you're not your best.
No matter how long you've been on your journey, you're still going to face mental and emotional battles. Keep fighting. Keep working towards your health and happiness. ❤️💪