I am going to give some insight
Let me go on to tell you a fragment of my thoughts
The world is cruel, harsh and sometimes it seems as if the world has not an ounce of light
It has rapidly been decaying
The weight of this world is heavy
It has been weighing
I can tell you more than your mind could comprehend about some dark times
And you could try and read in between these lines
But you wouldn’t understand the rhythm between my rhymes
The world is selfish and I have been hidden to protect myself from a world filled with chaos; those who only fulfill their selfish needs
They continue to do damage, they go on a rampage of their greedy ways and sow into the selfishness and onto it grows and feeds
The people who always want to be around others, how do you make it out there?
The most content I am is in my own head, out into the chaos I do not dare
You see, the world is cruel as it may be, it will continue to worsen, to those of you it may surprise
But I must tell you the world is not coming together, it is separating more and more, this is on the rise
I don’t fit into this world and I never have, those people who talk of things that are irrelevant and don’t seem to matter
The voices that surround me are burdensome and I can’t take all of this chatter
So I lock myself in and drown out the noise
People speaking of the mundane wares me out and ultimately withers me down to the point it destroys
This world is going downhill
Don’t judge me for how I choose to recharge, replenish and refill
You wouldn’t understand what I am thinking
My thoughts are too much to bare, like an ocean wave sucking them up to the ocean floor, they are sinking
Into my head is where I go; you can not comprehend
This outside world is not for me; dare I say that I refuse to attend
We all grow at different rates and times. One persons healing time is not yours. Just because someone forgave or moved on quicker doesn’t mean you are any less worthy because you need more time. The point of it is to not stop pursuing it. Your worth isn’t a competition from someone else’s. Just because someone graduated from college at 22 doesn’t mean you aren’t still growing if you just are finishing up at 35; or even starting at 35. What matters is that you are still going. We all face struggles in different ways.Comparison is a thief. It’s a reminder I, and I’m sure many other people need today and always. I never let my defeats show. But all in all, it all comes down to we all struggle. I am my own worst enemy.No one could ever criticize me more than I criticize myself. Hopefully, we can at least try to give ourselves a little room for healing and a lot less room for bashing ourselves. It’s a lesson I have not learned yet. Hopefully you don’t have to heal from your own harshness on yourself plus all those around you. Self care and healing is important. Growth is not possible without eliminating the toxic weeds. I am really intense and deep to some, heartless to most, reserved and dry to everyone, but I have a heart; very well. I am just inhibited on who and when to show it. My personality type is known to be really the most heartless and prone to the stereotype of robotic with no emotions. Our emotions aren’t on display. We keep them hidden. But if I must say so myself, they are very well there. Just because we may seem hollow, does not mean we don’t have them. When we feel, we feel very deeply. We are just deeply misunderstood. I’ve always been the outsider in life. Being understood is the equivalence to being loved to many. Don’t allow people to put labels on you. It’s really hard making it out there and growing when people are stunting your growth.Grow and thrive at your own pace. It’s really all we can do.🎋 #quotes#quote#quoteoftheday#qotd#wordporn#wordsofwisdom#foodforthought#writing#writersofinstagram#writersofig#motivation#determination#writers#wisdom#peaceofmind#growth#newbeginnings#intj#introvert#freedom#knowledge#mentalhealth
I’ve always been told I naturally have scissors in my pocket to just snip people away. But guess what? There’s a reason why we shouldn’t tolerate or allow people that refuse to change or take responsibility for their actions into our circle. My circle has always been really small. I either care or I don’t. There is no in between. There never was. We all have flaws. Every single one of us. But to refuse to change your behavior or even apologize is wrong. Taking responsibility is the first step. You’ll never change if you refuse to confront the issue as to what is the real problem. We shouldn’t allow people into our lives just for the sake of forgiveness. We can very well forgive and let go. That’s a thing. We don’t need to be intoxicated with negativity and surrounded by people who continuously tear us down. The most loyal people don’t have a lot of friends. They don’t really have a lot of people. A lot of people in your life doesn’t say anything about them caring for your well-being. As adults, we should care less about popularity, and more about people that are rooting for us. Someone who really cares will tell you what your behavior does and you’ll reflect and at least apologize and try and change. Change is gradual. But at least making the effort. Who knows, I’ve always been this way my entire life. But it has saved me a hell of a lot of garbage I refuse to let in just for the sake of having people in my life. I want the right people or none at all. Popularity never meant anything to me, even young. But I’m gonna go out by a long shot and say I’m gonna continue doing me and save my blood pressure. No shame in my game. That is all. Hope you do the same. It reaps rewards. Don’t wait around for a new year each year to make changes. Make them right now. Respect yourself and realize there is a difference between allowing people into your life in any way at all and forgiving and moving on. Don’t let anyone guilt you into believing you have to talk to people that don’t even apologize for tearing you down. Don’t have guilt for protecting your energy, vibes and most importantly, your mental health.
I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses”. - Friedrich Nietzsche
I have and most likely always will be constantly misunderstood and mistyped by people. People don’t want to know you really, they want to change you, they want to fit you into their box of who they think you are. They don’t want to really know who you are. Because I am distant and reserved, I am misunderstood and judged by people’s perceptions of who they think I am. I have shown myself in bits and pieces. Not even those that have been closest to me have seen all of me; regardless of how many years upon years they’ve known me. But once you get past my reserved nature, once I am comfortable, you’ll see things I’ve never shown another soul. I am not myself with everyone. I’m not fake either. I just don’t think everyone deserves to know me. I am rarely ever comfortable with anyone; never fully either. I give the gift of my personality to very few in my entire life. But I go away into my mind, my thoughts, solitude, nature, and it fills me. It is peace. I get lost here in a good way. Everything remains in my thoughts. I am a very internal person. My mind is everything. It’s where I live. It’s the only place where there is no judgement. Here is exactly where I belong. I don’t belong anywhere else. This is where I need to be. 🍁🍂🌽🌾#peaceofmind#whereibelong
What better way to explain myself than this quote that is written by an INTJ himself. Words that resonate.
We’ve been talking about this recently. This is a story that is not personal, but rather stating that we know things before we think we know them. And while we can deny them, they eventually will come to surface. Here’s a short clip. After years, my wife just found this out as to the reason why it ended abruptly back then with that girl. We have been following each other on Instagram since 2015. In July of 2016, my wife had came to New York to see me and she had made a video. After she had sent it, subconsciously she had said she fell in love with me a little (always coming onto me 🤷🏽♂️). At the time I was with someone very briefly. I’m not the type of person that goes into a relationship where I see no potential(not sure what I was doing with that girl) I am something.. I don’t know, I dialogue mentally in order to be with someone. It’s a huge process. I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, and that’s a huge issue for me. I like plans. I am huge with plans. I had liked the intellect and the fact that the girl and I were both into health and fitness. She was a pretty huge thing here on Instagram. I liked the passion for health and fitness. Obviously we need more of a foundation for things to work. When her and I were together, my wife and I were once speaking all day long and on FaceTime, but it stopped because the girl at the time occupied a lot of my time. I had really missed Angebel very much. She’s really the ONLY person I can tolerate and actually enjoy for hours on end. I can’t do it with anyone else. She didn’t like Angebel. My poor baby. Who couldn’t like her. No question mark needed. She had in so many words suggested passively I stop speaking with her. I couldn’t do that. I cut ties with that girl because I KNEW my real plans were with my wife. They always have been. I am extremely late to the show with emotions. We didn’t get together at that time. But I knew I didn’t want my life without my Angebel. That says a lot because I can deal without anyone. I’ve always been drawn to my wife. So.. fast forward to now at 10 months of marriage. It’s been a ride hot mama, but here we are. I wouldn’t want it with anyone else but you. ❤️ #letthegoodtimesroll
How often have you looked for a new chance, a new beginning?
I know I’ve searched and searched for a chance to change each and every mistake into an opportunity to learn and for winning
So what about this time of year does things dying represent a second chance?
The way the leaves are falling reminds me of the way my mind wanders in the wonders of a journey I yearn for, I’m lost in this trance
This time is a season for reflection
How beautiful is it to watch something die and be made new, this season brings me to this world, the only time I feel the connection
I watch the trees change from color to color as I hope to do
Let the old die and let me grow into something brand new
Take me on this journey of a fiery pathway
I desire to be as bold and bright as these leaves, let the old wash away
I’d like to start fresh, guide this path of a lost identity
Show me the colors of autumn, show me the value of being free
Wipe the slate clean
I want this faith to see the unseen
I see my life laid out at my feet
I may fall, I may stumble, but they will not win, they will not defeat
The wind whistles outside and I watch the tree leaves fall one by one
My battle is not over, it has just begun
Autumn- you are new beginnings, you are mine
This is my year, take it over this time. - Made by Jason *Picture is not mine*
I wanted to tag a really inspiring and awesome writer that I’ve been following for quite some time. Thank you for your encouragement with my writing. Good to know someone is watching. Thank you for your writing. It keeps me going and gets me back here into the swing of writing again. 💜
Have you ever seen the movie Dirty Dancing? Well, I must say that we make a really close cut to looking like that movie. I’m kidding really. But this clip does remind me of that movie. I’ve always been an oldies fan so I gave this song to my wife last year. This entire song is us. When I’m with you, the world around us falls apart. As you already know, I am really awkward. It shows a lot in this video. I don’t know how to just be open out in public. You make me forget it all. I’m just.. dancing with the love of my life and all else fades away. Thank you for allowing me to be myself and not judging. Thank you for embracing my weird. You just get me. Many people have thought we were crazy, but the world falls apart around us. You are all I see. Many people have tried to knock us down but the world can run out of lovers but I’d still have you. I know you can clearly see HOW touchy my wife is here. She constantly is touching. She’s literally the only person I can tolerate touching me. I’m just not a touchy person. You can see clearly in this short clip that it is not always openly given. I try my best. Most times I am very affectionate with her. I could hold you forever and it still wouldn’t be enough. It may not always look like that.. especially as the awkwardness you see here. But you know me and being recorded. 😳 Nothings gonna stop us now and nothing ever will. You make me so honored to be by your side. I could dance anywhere with you. You make it so easy to forget the world and just focus on you. You are what makes me comfortable. Thank you for bringing me out my hidden shell. Everyone should experience being with someone where they can dance with no music and be so carefree as to who sees because they love that person so much. You give me the best and memorable experiences of my life. I cherish our memories most of all. You make every single day fun. Thank you. You are this bright ray of sunshine and I am this pocket of dark skies. Somehow we combined and balance it out. You remind me of my favorite season fall. You remind me of new beginnings. You are mine.
Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul”. -Charles Bukowski
I had the pleasure of filming and doing photography with my talented wife. Although I cannot stand being filmed or getting pictures taken, I had such an enjoyable time. Anything I do with her is the best moments of my life. Being with her reminds me so much of this quote. In life, most people long to fit in. I’ve never fit into some type of box. I never made time for those who were shallow minded, boring, and dull. I didn’t make time for those with meaningless conversations, those who brought nothing to the table with intelligence, and people with no mind of their own. I’ve always been the weird one, the peculiar, the odd black sheep that was always noticeably standing out in the crowd. I actually embrace it, because I know that it shaped and formed my character in not going through things that others may have had to learn. I just know character. I can foresee it and I’ve been told it’s kind of creepy just how much I’m able to do so. For the first time in my life I actually was able to fit in. I fit with my wife. I can talk to her for hours about deep and intellectual things, she keeps my mind stimulated, she is fun, joyful, and a pleasure to be around. She brings me out of my shell like no one ever does. She sees sides that no one else sees, and I am so grateful it’s her. She sees my madness and embraces all of my sides. I was never sure as to why people made time for people that had nothing to bring to the table of their life. When we invest time into someone, we are saying “You are important”. Making time for people that offer nothing seems pointless to me. It’s why I can’t be around people for long without it draining the life out of me. She is my favorite person to spend time with. I never regret giving it to her. I never have. Something about being by the ocean brings so much clarity and perspective. Just being there with the leaves falling now reminds me that my favorite season fall is near and that new beginnings and change are taking place. She is the wisest investment of time I ever made.