Looking a bit fierce this morning 🦁 And, honestly, feeling it, too. I've been slowly, (mostly) patiently getting back to my usual self after my recent #sciatica flare and all its associated pain and mental distress.
I can tell a distinct decrease in my flexibility & endurance from three weeks ago. Historically, this would be when I would allow that to discourage me, my anxieties would take over, and I would lapse into eating poorly/constantly and withdrawing into myself. This time, though, something (or several somethings, really) is different. For a start, I've now seen what I can do. After living most of my life being certain of my inferiority, it's strange but incredibly freeing to finally start making fissures in that false truth.
Don't misunderstand me; I've experienced a fair amount of high emotion the past few weeks, complete with self doubt, self loathing, emotional eating, and spontaneous crying. I never want it to seem like I have my shit totally together at all times. My whole point when I create posts of this type is to be honest, open, and vulnerable about my journey. Those are the things that I need to be for myself, so when I'm struggling I can look back at this & be reminded that there will always be work to be done but that the toil is worth it. And those are also the things I want to be for others who may read my thoughts, since that openness was something I rarely had demonstrated for me until well into my adult years.
Part of that honesty is recognizing my triumphs, too. I am reminded now, at this point of decision between persevering and giving up, of all the self work I've done. I can see in my current resolve the results of that work and I am at once relieved, buoyed, and even a bit proud. #selfcare #selfcaresunday