Someone reached out to me a couple of months ago. Unfortunately her maternal uncle was secretly entering her room and forcing himself on her. Her mother was ill and she didn’t want to break her mum’s heart so she said she would allow it to continue because he was leaving in a few days time. He visits once every six months and this is the first time he has done this. Hopefully, by his next visit she would’ve arranged something. He’s also the one who is looking after them financially because her father passed away when she was 10 years old. She’s now 19.
She asked me what she should do. I advised her to confront him if she wasn’t scared. Tell someone she trusts. Go to the Police. Tell her mum because no matter how ill she is, she needs to know the truth and may be able to stop the abuse. She said the country she lives in will support the abuser because he’s a man! And so really she’s responsible for this behaviour.
Her uncle had left a day earlier so for now at least she was safe. She hasn’t been in contact since and I can’t find her either.
What do you tell a girl when she doesn’t have a route of escape. Her uncle is financially supporting her and her mother; the police will most likely be bribed; the society will say she’s at fault for some reason - oh, they’ll find a reason!
What do you do when you want to give them the best advice but you’re unable to because you know there’s no help for that person. You don’t know the laws of another country and even if you did, you don’t have the means to help other than be on the other end of the messages being sent - she left me with, at least someone’s listening.
You know your world better than anyone, work out the weakness of the perpetrator and act accordingly. Gather the evidence and do take it to court. Get media coverage so you’ll be safe. Empower yourself so that later on in life you can empower others in similar situations.
Above all, trust in yourself. Faith comes from God and He is forever watching over you. Be strong, it’s not your fault. It’s absolutely and entirely NOT your fault.