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sapogonia

I have been daydreaming about this Pakistani birthday stew for going on two weeks. It took me all day to cook it while catching up on birthday wishes from around the globe and writing, writing, writing. There is no photo evidence because I ate it all in a glorious feast. Afterwards, I ate the most magnificent donut cake that my mama made and that my friend @mzshaps recommended. Thank you for your love, your energy, your prayers, and your blessings. Your magnificence brings me joy and hope and vision. I can only hope to return the glory🖤🙏🏽🖤. . . . #yearofeternalspring #elcenote #nepantla #motherhoodrising #radicalwomenco #countryqueers #shenandoahvalley #scorpioseason #brujxconocimiento

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sapogonia

I did not wake up to breakfast in bed, balloons or confetti but to a sleeping child lying amidst the blazing glory of the autumnal sun beaming through dew drops on the window. Waking up is everything in a year when I was not sure I would survive, in a year where death and grief followed me around, in a year I was almost certain I would not survive one more round of life’s despair. Today, I wandered about the woods to see everything around me both dying and living and all at once I felt at home amongst the wildness of things. Here I am, reborn another year, at the curtain of life and death, at the place that has come for me and that I have journeyed to see. Here there are those we have lost, pieces of ourselves we abandoned, and the visions that have come before. Together they are singing hoping that we may each hear and sense their sound and tremor to light the way. . . . #yearofeternalspring #motherhoodrising #radicalwomenco #countryqueers #shenandoahvalley #scorpioseason #nepantla #elcenote #traumaresilience #mentalhealthawareness #brujxconocimiento #staycation

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sapogonia

Annual staycation is ON! Lovin’ on all the things that stay, that show up, that exude home, that endure both pain and joy, that understand the contradictions of life and can see beyond their horizon. Lovin’ on seeing the other side, on embracing the shadows, on transformation, on becoming, on being, on learning and holding all the curves of our souls. Lovin’ on endings and beginnings and innocence and the pure glee and curiousness that exudes off of this one true love. What a glory and gift that our souls were to be united in this lifetime. . . . #yearofeternalspring #elcenote #nepantla #staycation #elotoño #countryqueers #shenandoahvalley #radicalwomenco #motherhoodrising #childhoodunplugged #scorpioseason #brujxconocimiento

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sapogonia

I had every intention of taking this kid to the apple orchard today, but when I woke and made my usual bleary eyed morning walk to feed the chickens, even in the barely dawning light and fog that settles in the Glen, I could see that the roof and back wall of the chicken coop were missing. . Anybody who has ever kept 🐓 in the country knows that moment when you think a coon or coyote or bear or fox or any other number of weasel-like creatures have gotten to your birds. . It was only a brief moment later that I heard the three of them come out of the shrubs that they like to roost in at the edge of the woods behind my house. Upon greeting me, I whispered, it was only the wind. I said a little blessing, fed them and mentally began making a plan for repairs. . After breakfast, Santos and I spent most of the day repairing the coop, frolicking outside in the sunshine, collecting black walnuts and clearing out the garden beds to prepare them to winter over some garlic and to rest. At the end of the day, working to beat the light, we came upon this small 🐍, the epitome of the spirit that has harbored so much of my transformation this year. . It was a cathartic way to end the day, a simple reminder of the abundance and joy to be experienced in the everyday things of raising this kid, of routine, of grounding in the seasons and in the land. . In these motions I can feel an embodied knowledge take over - a feeling I almost forgot I could feel. I trusted it and followed it and remembered what I already knew, here is where the beauty of my life lies. . I’ve spent some time trying to get back to this place, to feel the synchronicity of body, mind, and soul all in motion towards a common path. I relish it, savor it, roll it over in my mouth knowing that it comes and that it goes and that I too can move with the wind. . This learning is not new but a cultivated instinct, an instinct that one must be quiet enough to hear, an instinct that lives inside. Here is where it waits for you to call upon its magic. . . . #yearofeternalspring #shenandoahvalley #motherhoodrising #childhoodunplugged #radicalwomenco #countryqueers #brujxconocimiento #elotoño #traumaresilience #fortitude

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sapogonia

Pre-ritual Friday night feast for el viento. The emerging darkness and cold of this season’s nights remind me of the pleasure of cultivating a summer’s bounty and the opportunity to hibernate - to be born again. . . . #yearofeternalspring #elcenote #nepantla #traumarecovery #restforresistance #elotoño #foodasmedicine #countryqueers #radicalwomenco #everydaymagic #motherhoodrising #brujxconocimiento

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sapogonia

Some weeks ago in one of our many random text message threads about the wild ride of parenting, @prima.de.afuera asked me, “From where do we get our power?” It was rhetorical, not to be answered in that avenue but a prompt for exploring. This question and all its facets, nooks and crannies thread together a type of discovery that comes from the sluggish work of digging around in one’s own mind and slowing enough to hear the instinctual whispers that are always accompanying us. I’ve been quiet in this reflection - writing to find a path, but not an answer, and holding all the truths and falsehoods that emerge. You see, power is a tricky thing with trials and tribulations of both our own making and all that is around us. Power is both imagined and tangible, individual and collective, a poison and a medicine. We come to know our power, where we abuse it, where we give it away, where it is taken away, and where we wield it for the greatest good by the very walk of life itself. Each well of experience and knowledge and learning cannot be traded or bartered away. We must trust and risk and create and fight for the sake of our power, for all its might, filled with grace, is part of our equation for liberation. . . . #yearofeternalspring #elcenote #nepantla #radicalwomenco #motherhoodrising #liberationinourlifetime #countryqueers #happymonday #brujxconocimiento

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