This morning was golden ✨🍁 I'll be honest with you, the last few weeks I have been stuck in a rut. I think partly its due to hormone imbalances that are truly out of my control. Sometimes it's really hard to know what is my personal responsibility and what is my body going haywire. Either way, the last few weeks were hard. It's always difficult in a flare up to search for a sense of normalcy, because how I'm feeling can change so much every day. So it's hard to find rhythm. And if you know me then you might know I'm basically Monica from friends, total type A perfectionist crazy lady at times. I wish I was pheobe but I'm totally Monica and I need to find a healthy way to run with that 😂 all that to say, I thrive on routine and sameness. Autoimmune disease really shatters all that, and it's hard for me. When I do start feeling better it's like I'm flailing around in the dark searching for light. I got out of bed finally, but I can't see and I'm not sure what to do next. Last week I was reminded by some inspiring IG friends that all I need to do is take the next step forward. Do the next right thing for that day, and just be faithful there. Sometimes that means we stay home and rest. Sometimes that means we go out. Sometimes that means Charlie watches more tv. Sometimes that means being intentional and really focusing all of me on him. It changes daily. It's not concrete. It'd be great if I could day every day I will get up at this time and read the Bible and make coffee for Zack because that's being "faithful" but the reality for me is that if I'm not feeling well being faithful might mean sleeping in, letting Zack do more, and turning on our favorite music in the morning because that's how I'll best function for the day and be able to have the mental and physical energy to love my family. It's hard for me to not fit a mold, especially when that's what's preached to us so much. But I know this is better. I'm still learning to find freedom and not get caught up in what everyone else is doing or saying, or even saying to me. But surrendering to the process and approaching each day with the mindset of, I will do the next right thing whatever that means for today..