When I got the phone call from my midwife that you had the potential of having an extra chromosome, time froze still. A lot happened in that brief moment inside/outside of time. A lot. Many things were released, and many things flowed in. I am a believer in the addage that you are given what you can handle. I could see the assumptions of who I thought you would be, destroyed. Then I could see beyond to how small I was for being so arrogant that I thought I'd define you before you were born. And then there was a void, an unknown. I had no idea who you were going to be like, what you would like to do, what you would look like.
And looking into this void is a scary place. It is unknown. It is what the brain does very well covering up in all areas of the day but can't here. Looking into the void means the chatterbox brain that always thinks it knows...has been locked away. In this naked space I hung in time, frozen. In this now moment, I was out of the way enough to became a vassel to receive.
The new awareness flowed in like a river of sunlight to thaw the smallness in me. My first gift of many that I will receive on this journey, I am sure...I have YOU in my belly. You chose me to come through. You are the one that gets to define you. Incarnating outside of expectations, you truly get to follow your bliss. And I am here to support you.
This is the Divine moment when we are initiated into the tribe. We have gone to the source, lost our emotional baggage, felt true love/ oneness, picked up our sword and awoke as a warrior, an advocate, a nourisher, a more whole human being.
A DS diagnosis is like an alchemists crucible...in goes the ego to be burnt up. In goes the arrogance of thinking you know things about your baby, in goes caring about what people think, in goes friendships with petty small minded people...It is a burning down until it is just you and the gold, the elixir of life called the Divine, our true selves that you, my love, I can see are here to teach me all about!