If this is the case then surely I will wake up a happy person very soon!! When you hit rock bottom and see no light at the end of the tunnel you're kind of screwed. That's me right now...recent events have left me empty, drained, numb and ready to give up. As I sit here and stare at nature, leafless trees, tall trees, all trees, tree burdened with crispy brown leaves, I wonder what it's all about...everything that has happened, good and bad up until now, has it all contributed to this very moment in its own way?! The pain, the loss, the happiness, the diaper, has it all lead me to this very point at which I see no further?
Like the trees Infront of me, must I shed and lose everything before I gain again? Possibly! Up until now I had a vague idea of the future but right now I don't, nothing, it's a blank screen! And believe me when I say that scares the living daylights out of me but is it actually a good thing?
I surround myself by the people I love and enjoy being with, could it just be that with everyone of them it will be a clean fresh new start?! Is that actually possible? Has everything fallen to shit and hit rock bottom because it's time for it to fall into place now? Is this how it works???