Stunned. Everything feels surreal because holy shitake mushrooms...I sent V11 today. Hold on to your hats folks....it's about to get emotional.
There is a fine line between excitement and expectations for me. Once I realized I had the capacity to finish this climb, I couldn't stop agonizing over every detail...is this too body specific....will people believe me...will they criticize--or silently judge. Immediately I felt pressured to send, and send on film.
Hours of anxiety, tears, and sheer grumpy attitude later, I asked Dillon to switch off the camera and I thought about where I needed to be to link two halves. I can honestly say, I don't trust micro feet...but with no others in sight I tried...and for the first time in a while--trusted my instincts.
Somewhere along the way of setting and competing, I forgot to climb for myself...and climb as myself. I needed to stop thinking of what other people thought or expected from me. I needed to stop thinking about 'proper' climbing and throw ergonomics out the window.
All I know, is that I am grateful. Grateful to be
able to pursue the sport I love and chances to renew my passion.
I cannot describe how I feel, nor the gratitude I have for the unending support and compassion from Dillon through this process. Thank you for being there to celebrate my small victories, to give me ideas, encouragement, to spot my ridiculous falls, to stand with me when I cried and felt unworthy of the climb. Thank you for always rooting for me...always being in my side, and empowering me.
Thank you to @ for supporting me in sickness and in send--and for being the best partner in climb and in life. Thank you to @ for being a positive light in my life and cheerleader on my shoulder. you to @ for believing in me from day one...and always making sure my health comes first. Thank yo to everyone in my circles and community that have ever believed in me. "Margin of Error" (V11) .