I know pictures of breastmilk/breastfeeding offend people (why tho) so please feel free to keep scrolling. I’m feeling incredibly sad about breastfeeding. I have about 10oz left in the freezer from my 800oz stored and that’s it, we’ve been using it to mix porridge and foods for Harry most recently and his last bottle of pure breastmilk was months ago but I can’t bear to part with the last 10oz. Managing to breastfeed exclusively for four and a half months without ever having a latch will always be my greatest achievement but I gave up so much and felt like none of us saw the benefits, every two hours I had to stop what I was doing and find somewhere to pump (before Harry, I was so scared to breastfeed in public... pumping in public is almost impossible and a thousand times worse, I tried once and got looked at like I was a nutter) I put myself through agony to take my supply from a measly 2ounces a day to 50ounces a day, and what was it all for? I never got the glorious ‘period free’ few months, I never got to experience the closeness of breastfeeding and in the first few weeks I barely fed Harry as I was so busy pumping. He preferred his dad to me and freaked out whenever I tried to feed him with his bottle. It was the hardest four and a half months of my life so far but I’m still so upset that latching didn’t work for us.. i tried everything and then one day at three months postpartum, he fed with a shield perfectly fine, but he just wasn’t interested. I’m keeping my expensive as hell medela pump and all the parts it comes with because for future children, I’d probably do it all over again but I’m feeling so sad that I missed out on so much for what felt like nothing.