#Repost @floweringconcrete with @get_repost
This photo was taken almost 8 yrs ago... BEFORE I would face down surgery 35. Before the partial mastectomy that would take part of my left breast. Before my latest MedPort in my chest on the right. Before my partial hysterectomy for pcos because I was growing cysts that were fusing to adhesions and causing blockages. Before I, for the 3rd time since diagnosis at 13, dropped below 70 pounds and would struggle against short-gut, nausea, and vomiting to put weight back on. Before I found myself in my current situation. BEFORE.
This photo was taken almost 8 yrs ago... AFTER I had already been fighting multiple illnesses for over 15 yrs. After getting my ileostomy when I was 13. After over 30 surgeries to that point. After surviving abuse and the loss of my unborn son. After multiple ports, PICC lines, and countless IVs. After I met and married Dan. After I adopted my daughter Anna. After I had lost remission, but could still clearly remember the almost 5 yrs I had as close to healthy as I can hope for. After I had wondered how much more I could handle...more times than I can count. AFTER.
NOW I'm 96.4 pounds - up from 67.8 2 months ago. Now I'm being fed by a tube once again. Now, once again, I'm battling a port infection in the hopes of being able to save the port...because I can't sustain an IV or PICC. Now I know surgery 41 is on the horizon. Now I'm struggling with feeling so limited as a wife and a mother. Now I'm wondering how much longer I can fight. How much more I can handle.
So I look at this photo - and it isn't just a picture anymore. It is everything I overcame before, all the unknowns I had yet to overcome ahead of me, and maybe someday... 8 yrs from now... I'll post another picture and know that I managed to get beyond this latest battle too.
A good reminder. ❤🌱❤
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