I spent the last bit waking up to the loons calling, the birds chirping, fish jumping... etc etc. And I have never felt more at peace. I have learned how to stop and pay attention more, to my surroundings, to the noises, to my body, and to my heart. I didn't scroll through posts comparing, I never looked in a mirror, i stopped caring about everyone and everything that doesn't actually matter in my life. I spent time with my husband, and we grew as a couple.
When you learn how to start forgiving yourself, from your past, and from your present you learn to start loving you again. I started by forgiving me, for the person I was, I forgave myself for all those long nights filled with toxic behaviour. I forgave myself for bad choices. I forgave myself for being who I thought I was supposed to be, for the drugs, the alcohol, the rudeness, the lack of being a good friend, and for being a horrible human. After I thanked myself, for all of the above because without those events I would not be who I am today, in a loving marriage with a beautiful family on both sides, and slowly starting to be surrounded by beautiful women who I hope will stay part of my tribe.
I learned you cannot forgive others until you forgive you. Once I forgave myself I started to forgive others. I have a long way to go to forgive others, for the hate, the jealousy, the attacks in various ways (verbal, cyber, physical). Learning how to forgive the ones who caused pain, who lied, who cheated, who abandoned, who abused. As well as learning to continue to forgive ones on a daily basis. Ones who have personal developments of their own, ones who are going through heart ache, ones who are not ready to accept their behaviour, as they are unaware how their actions and words affect others.
Forgiveness is not an easy task, and one which takes time. I will say that once you start, and once you learn how to accept a weight will lift off your shoulders. Positivity will start to form, and you will start to feel at ease.
Who would have thought that a small getaway, with no showers, bathrooms, cell service, or even people around was exactly what my little heart needed. special thanks to @loriharder