L O N E L Y. It is no secret that we all sometimes feel this way. Separated from loved one, friend or feeling isolated or excluded. For me, personally, it comes with mightiest force at times when I crave affection and love, when I just wanna be held or hold someone and feel the warmth from within. When I get envious of people around me in relationships, with their significant other. Makes me feel so isolated and sad, that I have never been in an actual proper relationship, that I settle for a quick hook up fix to sometimes just go by, that I crave love but I don't know if I have ever properly felt it. I know, as an introvert I do require a lot of space, but I also have a very big loving heart that desires to love and be loved in return. And I am impossible to keep in touch with because I do forget to message first or just forget about people and friends, but they are always on my mind. I guess I am just contradicting myself yet again. All I know is that sometimes it just gets lonely seeing so many in relationships while I sometimes rely on a quick fix with a person who is unavailable, taken, who doesn't understand me or just straight up an awful match. On one hand I don't know why I keep doing it, because it only sets me back from finding love, yet at the same time it satisfied the need for intimate connection or a sexual desire, for a short while, before it messes up my mind again. Filling with thoughts: Am I really only good enough to be the other man, Are my standards too high, Am I unloveable, Am I unavailable? And the answer is I don't know anynore. I do not know.