a l l • r h y t h m s
as i near the end of my kundalini teacher training i feel equally inspired, as i do hesitant. i have had many questions rising over the course of this training and while self reflection is yogic progress, i have experienced more questions than any other immersion before. i have had questions around myself, my teachings, my path, my compassion, my ego, our world, devotion, yoga, god, family, wearing white! you name it, i have questioned it. some, i acknowledge have been ego-led (the need to know) and others, more intimate, like the questioning of whether or not i even believe in kundalini or if it's just so unfamiliar, that it feels scary. when i first started studying yoga i pretty much believed in everything that was presented to me and when teaching, i simply shared that. overtime, i learnt to it take it all in, let it rest, see what resonates and from there, formulate my teachings. there is a lot of 'myself' in my teachings and in kundalini we are striped back, our teaching mind is neutralised and the intention is that we teach each kriya in the exact way that it was written. there is no artistic licence. no changes. no additions. it is pure transmission. let me tell you friends, my ego didn't like this...but what about my ideas? my books? my self expression? my offerings? i realised, there seemed to be a lot of 'me' within my focus and that realisation was overwhelming
theory takes a back seat in kundalini and your experience leads, and while i still have many questions around how i will teach and how people will respond to this technology, i am resonating with the potency of my experience. the internal power that has risen, the integrity that is calling, the radiance that i feel and the humility that quietens my striving, is revealing a deeper understanding of what it is, to surrender. surrender isn't a passive giving up or handing over of your power. no. surrender, is nurturing a clear vision while trusting that the universe may have another, more expansive vision in store for you. surrender isn't powerless. surrender is deeply empowering and prompts us to release expectation and receive what is.