Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. I was laid up, sleeping off this cold most of the day, but I want to share something related to this day of awareness: I haven’t always smiled like this. *
I’ve been in the darkest of dark places. The place where you’re certain the world would be better off without you; that no one would miss you if you were gone. Where it's a struggle simply to get out of bed in the morning. *
I clawed my way back into the sunlight, and yes, I used drugs to help. There's no shame in that -- having horses to feed and care for also aided me. I don't know that anyone but my therapist knew what a dark place I was in -- I hid the depression well. That said, I did have friends that knew I wasn't myself, and they never gave up on me. They forced me out to ride my horses, to rodeo practice, to events. They wanted to see me happy. *
Depression and anxiety are real. And they affect us in so many ways. You can know what to do, and EVEN do it, but sometimes, that's not enough. Sometimes you need the antidepressants, or the anti-anxiety medications to get you into the sunlight. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Go, see a doctor. Tell your most trusted friend(s) your darkest secret. Know that you are loved. That you are enough. And that the world won't be the same if you're not in it.
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