Have you ever played the blame game? I have🖐🏼 My mum died when I was 14, my dad left shortly after, my Bro & I fell out for 7 years.
In my mind, ppl will always walk out at some point which always made me feel like I wasn’t enough, unworthy.
For all my insecurities that I projected onto others, I’d blame my past & family history.
For all my mistakes & rebellions, I’d blame them too.
I was in pain & played the victim card.
I’d point the finger elsewhere thinking I could heal.
Until I realised, I was still broken.
I couldn’t heal cuz instead of taking responsibility & transforming the pain from my childhood - I gave it away.
I blamed my family, difficult circumstances.
It’s easy surrendering our suffering & pain to the responsibility of others. & while doing so, I didn’t realise that I was also giving away my power to love & heal myself.
I’ve inevitably made happiness & self love an outside job.
I had no true relationship with myself.
Just walls, fears & a loop of negative memories in my head.
I was stuck.
Blaming often gives you an excuse not to make an effort to change cuz you see it as someone else’s job.
We blame our colleagues for being terrible, our partners for not meeting our needs, our friends for being selfish, strangers for being inconsiderate.
We blame & we do it unconsciously.
Taking responsibility of our pain / troubles on the other hand, isn’t quite so.
Sometimes it’s so hard that we feel a lot of resistance towards the fact that we have anything to do with the things we’re blaming others for.
It’s hard to step out of our patterns, however destructive they might be.
Cuz blame is often masked like freedom, a breath of air in a very desperate situation.
But you can’t change your life by blaming others.
You can only change your life by taking responsibility of yourself & making healthier, empowered choices;
When you make happiness & self love an inside job.
So the next time you hear yourself throwing around blame, complaining how others have “wronged” you, even if they may deserve the anger & resentment - think again.
Stop, take a deep breath, begin again from a kinder place.
Not just for them, more importantly for you ❤