We’ve had a lot of people ask us when we plan to have another baby, and while I try very hard to understand the excitement behind why they’re asking, I’m also painfully aware of how difficult the journey to parenthood can be.
A lot of people assumed that I ended up pregnant immediately, solely because Nina joined us so soon after our wedding. But here’s the thing.
We stopped preventing pregnancy nearly three years ago, shortly after we were engaged. I know that’s a taboo subject, and so I’ve avoided sharing it, but I feel like it needs to be recognized.
We never officially started “trying” for Nina, not in the sense of multiple tests or doctors visits. I told myself that if I didn’t obsess, it would be easier to convince myself there was no problem when nothing happened.
After a solid year of “trying” they officially consider you infertile, whether or not a reason is present. I’ve known that since I was 17, when they told me a tumour was growing in my head, a tumour that would make getting pregnant “difficult” (not to mention maintaining a pregnancy or delivering a healthy baby). Nearly three years later, and one pregnancy full of complications later, we have a beautiful little lady.
So I don’t feel the need to complain, but it’s definitely something we’ve considered when talking about having another.
Personally, I don’t feel like they can truly be planned. Not in the sense that I can pick a day or time and they’ll suddenly show up like “hey mom! you called?” 🤷🏼♀️
I’m also not ready to currently go through pregnancy again. I’d love to give Nina a sibling, and I hope it’s sooner rather than later, but I also know you’re generally more fertile immediately post baby (who made this rule??? 😩) So, maybe next year.
My goal is, if all of my other goals are attainable by then, next year we’ll consider welcoming whoever decides to join us, when they choose to.
If we’re lucky. ♥️