I’ve always struggled with finding my self worth and self love without someone. Whether it be a friend, lover, family member, or coworker.
A lot of my motivation and happiness inadvertently lies within my ability to affect other people’s lives; I thrive on human connection and exchange of energy.
At first thought it didn’t make sense to me why this could be a bad thing. I mean, isn’t the world made through human connection and that very exchange?
It’s dawned on me recently that my dependency of this actually leads to a lot of my own suffering.
We all crave to be understood, cared for, and made to believe that we are bigger than our temporary circumstance or our pasts.
People are imperfect, and when they inevitably falter, so will we if we put our whole selves into them.
So. I have been working very much on solidifying my foundation in something unwavering. The higher power and being we humans call “god” (although it’s hard to say that word because for me there is a lot of stigma tied to it); and all the power that energy that comes from that being... grace, love, peace. —- So I’m trying. Really hard. To be patient and work through ripping up parts of my foundations that are built on faulty premise, and rebuild it on stronger sturdier ground.
To anyone struggling with this, you aren’t alone. Introspection and willingness to change is one of the hardest things to do, you kind of have to admit what you’ve been doing things wrong. No one wants to admit they have not been the best version of themselves they can be. —
It’s ok. It’s ok to break down parts of yourself to build again. That’s life.
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