(On and Always) The Edge and Back
I've lived a life without many foregone conclusions,
And am quite wary of paranoia and delusions,
The past three years of school have been mentally taxing,
And all I'd wanted was a bit of rest and some time for relaxing.
Sitting in this chair causes me much pain,
In my shoulder and neck, I've never been the same,
Since slipping down stairs and twisting my ankle,
Three years ago before a test but I am thankful,
To still be in school, to still have my health,
But I've lost almost everything else,
My sense of security, my ability to blend,
Into the crowd yet then again,
I've always stuck out, being inconspicuous,
Has never been an option as I'm ridiculous,
Still I wish that I could simply say I'm insane,
Instead of dealing with constant emotional and physical pain.
Author's Note: I try my best to take a step back and consider my mental state and my motivations. When I look at my schoolwork there is so much resentment and pain attached to it that it is very difficult to want to do it. My physical, emotional and mental health have all been negatively affected by school. Still, resilience is a quality I'm lucky enough to possess. There is a part of me that would love to catch the people at my school who cause me trouble but in all honesty it's not worth the effort. The fact I have to deal with being constantly watched online and in real life is exhausting to say the least especially when coupled with the fact I can't do anything to stop it. I've made some headway and it seems like the culture is starting to boil over, finally. I guess I just wish the attention was positive instead of negative just as much as I would like to think I wasn't watching my university collapse under the weight of an inbred, incompetent and selfish administration.
Anyways writing poetry and a short treatise is clearly not doing homework.
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