I've recently slipped back into deep depression for the first time since I was stuck in a hellish, drug-brainwashed relationship, and it's extremely difficult to cope with on my own.. I've never felt so powerless in my life. I have less fight in me now than ever to keep my head above water, nor do I have many resources that I can use to help me make even baby steps in the right direction. I'm stranded in Northern California again, too close for comfort to my insane ex who still hasn't stopped his abusive outreach after half a year, in a tiny town without a car, a phone, or enough cash to fix either of those issues. My health is now failing at an alarming rate, after all the abuse and deadly levels of stress from the past year and a half or so, and I've developed a metabolic disorder from it. Not sure where to go from here. The water is dark, ice cold, and numbing.... And never been more inviting.