WARNING: LONG POST⚠️ I’m starting to believe I keep my days extra busy with my son to avoid the pain I feel in my heart. The pain I feel not for myself but for my son. I did not set out to be a single mother, it wasn’t my plan in the beginning and I definitely did not imagine I would be one. For a long time, I did not refer to myself as a single mother.. only until maybe a year I came to realize that I am one. I wish things could be different. At times I catch myself envying anyone that has the father of their child doing what he is supposed to do. Let me not confuse anyone, my son father come around, barely. I see how situations have a bad impact on my son and as a mother all you want to do is protect your child from anything that causes pain or sadness.
I want to make the best decision for my son. I want to put everything in God’s hands and have faith that he will work out every situation. But I would be lying if I said it’s that easy for me. Most nights I am so frustrated I want to cry! I watch my son play and laugh and think in my head how could anyone not want to be around for this? I tell myself don’t give anyone power over your life but I feel I do when I become so stressed I feel sick to my stomach, and so angry I forget everything God tells me. My family is a BIG help and without them I don’t know how I would make it. Yet here I am with the thought in my head that still, I am doing it alone. #thelifeofasinglemom