For the majority of my life, I didn't trust myself. Why? It felt dangerous to be myself as I grew up. I wasn't allowed to have parts that made mistakes, got rebellious, felt anger, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward. I didn't face dangers of violence, but I was punished in other ways. My punishment came in the form of #shame and rejection from both family who were supposed to unconditionally love me and friends who I knew my entire childhood. I wasn't doing it right. I tried, but I was just too much... something.
From the outside, it looked like I didn't belong anywhere. On the inside, it was all because I didn't trust myself to fully BE with anyone. I didn't trust that the real Laura was good enough, smart enough, talented enough, lovable enough, and that I'd still be OK if I did mess up. I didn't understand that my own unique depths that contained goodness, wisdom, brilliance, and love equipped me with so much possibility.
I didn't know any of this until it was all I had left to rely on. Through tremendous heartbreak, devestating loss, painful trauma, and aching abandonment, all that was left was the broken pieces I gathered tearfully. And slowly... so slowly... I learned how to put myself back together, stand in my power, know my worth, because I had nothing else to lose.
This does not need to be your journey in order to #TrustYourself. You can #StartNow. Wherever you are. Today all you need to do is listen to that whisper. Not the screaming voice inside or the chaos and demands around you. The small voice that is at the core of you. It knows the way. Listen. What is yours saying today? What do you want? What have you had enough of? What is good for you? What do you need to release? #thetraumadoctor
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