My mental health is crashing worse than the Trump Administration. I can best describe my mental health as a news station. Usually, it's on in the background. Just noise that I can ignore. When it gets worse, it becomes the ticket tape at the bottom on the channel that replays the same 10 highlights, or my case, lowlights throughout the day. I can ignore it, but it's more of a focused effort. The past 2 weeks. It's been Fox news screaming at me. Screaming that I am worthless. That I am this, or I am that. That I am not worthy of anything good happening. When bad things happen, it's gets so much worse. It becomes hard to interact with people on a basic level. Crying in public. Panicking when people are to close to me. My brain is constantly repeating everything negative about myself. I can't shut it off. I feel like I can't breathe. I have tried calling people but I know they have a lot going on in their lives so I don't take it to heart when they don't call back. I am the one who will send a message or a text to someone and offer to be there for them when they need someone to vent to. Basically, I am just hoping for someone to talk to. Even if it is only about them. It's not as lonely for me if I am helping someone through a tragic event in their life. It's life and life is hard. I am barely hanging in. I feel like I am one more major hit away from a full mental health disaster. Without insurance, there isn't much I can do about it. So I will keep on fighting for as long as I can. This isn't a cry for help or a cry for attention. I needed to express this. Maybe someone out there will see that everyone struggles. Including the person who only posts kittens and happy stuff to their Instagram and FB page.
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