#Repost @positivelykay_ ・・・
I see so many people who are finishing up chemo, starting chemo, or in the throes of it. I see it everyday when I scroll through my Instagram or open my messages. It’s a hard thing to see and watch, but I believe I was put here for a purpose - that in the mess I can find meaning, and so maybe my meaning is to always be there to pray, watch, hold space, and encourage others. But it wasn’t always this way. Can we talk about the beginning?
I put my stuff up and when I looked up everyone was staring at me. You may think I’m being dramatic, but I’m probably downplaying it. The only noise in that room was the joyful sounds of @klgandhoda - otherwise all conversation ceased.
All I could think was, “Here I am for the first time in weeks, in a room full of women who GET IT, but still no one gets it. I’m in a room full of people who have the same disease I do, but I’m still all alone.” Just stares. Long, awkward, haunting stares.
A room full of people, and I’m all alone. A procedure room full of professionals, and no one talks. Grim looking faces and no words. A feeling that would become all too familiar.
The beginning of anything is hard. New territory is always daunting. But the beginning of a cancer journey? Well there’s nothing that even begins to describe that, especially if you’re young. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So yes, now I am celebrating one year cancer free. Now Markey has become a home away from home. Now I have hair and my sickness is no longer written across my body (although the scars definitely are). But I only got here because I refused to stay there.
You can refuse too. Because us young’uns? We’re fighters. It may be hard to look at me, but I’m going to force you to. I’m going to force you to watch me fight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Once upon a time I sat meekly in a corner while others stared at the tragic nature of my situation and I wasn’t brave enough to speak up. But I’m making a promise to that girl, that young scared girl that I will never do that again. I may not have stood up for me then, but I promise from here on out, I’ll stand up for you. [[LINK IN BIO🖤]]