I’ve never been an addict. However I will say I would abuse every drug or bottle I could get my hands on. To me indulging would free me emotionally.. I was one who trained myself not to feel, and denied myself of my sensitivity in fear of being weak. Last year up until a couple months ago I was out of control. Beginning and ending every day with the bottle (wine) and spending my days literally picking my mind and deep in my feelings.. I learned how to cry again, and let myself, how to comfort, validate my thought, as well as retrain some detrimental thought processes.. Ironically I was pulled in by all the healing I was doing, all the shedding I was doing I felt composited for being intoxicated 24/7. As you can guess I became extremely dependent on alcohol; mainly to get me through my days, in refugee, as well as to feel.. Anyways I am 2 months sober today, of all except that holy ganja, and just recently I’ve been having frequent cravings accompanied by reminiscing. I feel like I’m a whole new person, physically, emotionally, and mentally. At the same time I feel like Ive died and am not quite sure how I feel about it..Sober healing isn’t as fast, but I am content with trading a false sense of freedom for love and health. This new love has got me feeling all kinda of crazy and has me making all kinds of sacrifices. Oh universe bear with me, I am still learning.