What makes true healing?
Beneath the layers of our person, our most defining characteristics; each trait has a story behind it, and why we behave so.
Some are mean; from an incident, or even years of abuse.
Some are awkward; from neglect, from loneliness.
Some go on to hide their pains, because not dealing with it is easier.
But everyone will seem normal, and without intimacy or truly knowing a person, you will assume that person had a life similar to your own; so you won’t probe.
Healing, starts first with the person pulling back their own layers.
Layers that may be stiff and crusty from being untouched, or raw with emotion. I realised, that no amount of dealing with it myself, or talking about it with others, drowning it in indulgence, really alleviated my thoughts.
That while maybe my thoughts would progress abit, or I even got some good advice, I would eventually find myself back where I started; frustrated.
I used to sneer, at what an old book could teach; how could archaic text speak to how I felt? How does this narrative relate to me?
Loved people, love people”
From watching how others behaved, and what they valued, then treating each reading seriously; it helped me open a conversation with God.
It is for me not yet a perfect conversation, but one strangely I feel I know I’m not talking to air.
It helped me with stark realisation what caused my feelings, my priorities, my struggles; an honesty I struggled with for some time.
And then He showed me how to overcome.
Strangely I always had the tools to become better, but I was also never motivated enough, never brave enough, to reach for them.
It is funny how healing works.
I had sought it in all the wrong places. Advice, vice, ice, in man and hedonism.
And I found it in the last place I tried.