I don’t have any formal food pics today so here’s my bird eating piece of popcorn, because that’s totally still related right?💓Today has been emotionally and physically exhausting, and there was a lot of stress-crying near the end on my part. It was an emotional rollercoaster. but like, specifically the part of the rollercoaster in the beginning where the cart is slowly making its way up to the top of the incline and building up the tension and then it just plunges downwards and the rest is lost in high-energy chaos. That’s how it felt with my anxiety today. It just built and built and built and then BAM, actual meltdown anxiety attack. There’s so much emotion and high-energy coming from everywhere around me, including from myself, and I’ve been sponging it up and trying to contain it all and carry my own weight too. Today in orchestra the dean of the school of music came in to tell us that one of our classmates, one of my friends, died. Not close friends, but someone I interacted with on a frequent basis and who helped me get through one of my classes last semester. It feels like at the beginning of the spring semester there’s a death like this of a friend or classmate, and it’s like deja vu in a really awful way. My emotions have been high-strung in general today, and I’m already so overwhelmed and stressed about school and music and measuring up. By the time I got out of class (9pm, so it was literally almost a 12 hour school day for me today), I started my homework and was having my girlfriend help me with music theory and we didn’t even make it to the third problem when I literally just started sobbing because I didn’t understand it. I was beyond the emotional capacity to do like anything scholarly at that point. Time to s l e e p god bless.