Unmotivated, uninspired, and discouraged. All of these emotions and a few more are what I have been feeling the past couple of months. Photography has been my passion since I was 12 years old. Seeing how much growth I have experienced since then inspires and motivates me. Lately, however, I have been focusing on the negative experiences that have happened along my journey. I had a longtime dream of attending a certain school and studying through their Photography and Imaging program. After submitting a portfolio that I was confident and proud of, a few months ago I received my rejection letter from that school. Since then, I have been finding myself struggling with comparison and judgement. I have been avoiding my clients, avoiding editing, and avoiding my camera. Photography, my biggest passion, has been making me anxious. I worried about my clients being unhappy, I worried about my photos being ugly, and I worried about not being as good as other photographers. All of this anxiety has been caused by one thing: comparison.
Recently, I came across an old tweet from the very wise Kim Diaz. She said, “Find what you love to do. Do it everyday. God doesn’t waste a passion. Embrace it and He will work through your obedience to the call.” I realized that I have been so focused on comparing myself to other creatives and trying to be as “good” as them that I have lost who I was as I creator. I haven’t been taking pictures because I am passionate about taking pictures. I’ve been worrying about trying to make my pictures look how others wanted them to look. I have been taking pictures because I want to be “good enough.” This past month I have been praying a lot about being obedient. Doing what I love every day. Taking pictures that I am proud of. Most of all- I have been praying about comparing myself less to other creators, and instead being inspired and motivated in challenging myself to do the best that I can. This past week, I have been working hard to make sure that I am doing this…and I’m pretty proud of where I have landed.
Comparison kills, guys. Find what you love and do it every day. Don’t let fear and comparison stop you from doing with you love. -Sydney