I am lucky enough to work with kids. I try to teach them that all their feelings are ok, it just matters what you do with them. It's ok to to be angry, it's not ok to hit. I realize now that I have not yet learned this for myself. I work double time to suppress or numb saddnes and anger through denial, food, the constant need for distraction, and manic planning for the future. I have spent the last three weeks tending to all the feelings and by giving them the space they need I will be able to move on. Eventually.
I will not let my saddnes from yesterday hold me back from my potential as a blessed, athletic, strong, balanced, and thoroughly flawed human.
I went to the gym for the first time in three weeks today. It felt really good.