11/11: Today I am my own muse.
You fell for her mind and yes, you could see that she was attractive, you weren’t blind. But, you saw that she was different. Her head was wrapped up in society’s politics. She aware. She didn’t care - about the money or the big brands; she cared more about the callused hands, working to provide us with the labels, whilst they unstitched the promised fables. She cared so much and wanted to tell you, what went on in her mind and what kept her up at night. She wanted you to listen. She was so full. She was so full of self-love and acceptance, ethereal energy and overcome battles. She was so full that you felt threatened. Felt inclined to defend your manhood, and deconstruct and diminish the strength she found in her womanhood. The strength which she’d worked so hard to manifest and had finally found the courage to wear. You made her struggles, your struggles and soon your relationship struggled. Her mind made you uncomfortable. And you were stubborn, so rather than supporting her, you worked hard against her, to contradict everything she said. To unpick every word she spoke. You fell for her mind, her wisdom and her intelligence, but you couldn’t take it. Couldn’t fathom the complexities that she could. You fell for her as an idea, an ideal, but not as a real woman. But you’d forgotten that she was already so full. So full that she had words and phrases wrapped around the blood running through her veins. She didn’t waste any more time allowing her cries to fall on your deaf ears, but offered you silence and no more of her beautiful soul.