We all seem to be so good at putting on a “Ive got my shit together” face when we go out in to the world.
How come we aren’t able to show the world that we don’t always have it together. That we are human and we have feelings and sometimes we just need to let them out.
To be sad.
To be anxious.
To feel like we aren’t successful.
To feel like we are failing as parents.
That our marriages need work.
That our friendships are changing.
That our heads are in the clouds when we should be focusing on other things.
Where does all of this shame come from?
I truly believe with all that I am, if we are open and raw, we share what’s on our hearts - like really share from that vulnerable place we are scared to share from - that big massive shifts would take place in our world.
We have come so far away from community. We don’t have our grandparents help raising our children. Our village mentality is something we crave, but we don’t want to actually set ourselves up for that village - because we have been taught for so many years that we need to do it alone. You’re only successful when you do it on your own and put on a big show and show the world that you are independent and capable of doing everything on your own.
And not that you shouldn’t, if that’s what you really want!
But in all the years I’ve worked with women and families, it’s a common thing I see. We are lonely. We don’t have support. We don’t want to bare the nitty gritty to people, we need to keep it all together.
And what does that do?
It means that we suffer in silence.
We are anxious, we feel like we are failing as parents and are too ashamed to talk to others about it, we are burnt out and busy all the time and leave no time for self care. We are constantly giving all of ourselves to everyone else and leaving ourselves frazzled and exhausted.
Let’s open up dialogue and talk about this. Let’s build each other up and love one another through the tough patches in life. A coffee, a phone call, a meal dropped off. Something. To know we aren’t all alone.
What ways do you give back to yourself? Are you struggling and just don’t want to talk about it due to fear of not being heard?