This is the real deal right here ya'll. This is my struggle. I have many struggles like anyone, but this is the one that leaves me saying "Why God? Why me?" I NEVER thought it would be me! I'm healthy and young! I'm surely undeserving of the love of God, yet he loves me warts and all. Even when i realize everything he's done, every moment of his faithfulness, every blessing.... I still get angry, sad, and sometimes just downright depressed. I want a child. I desperately want a child. I also desperately want Jesus, and that my friend is good enough. We can't be perfect and always keep it together in the waiting, but we can want, desire, and desperately seek the Lord, and that is GOOD ENOUGH. I know my time is coming. I asked for the Lord to bless us with children. He has heard me all along. I also asked for his perfect timing, and since I want a child now it seems sometimes I'm being tested or tried. Alas, I asked for HIS perfect timing for children I have already dedicated to the Lord. I only need to trust he is delivering. He loves you dear one. He knows your heart. He knows you want to be a mommy. He knows you have little ones who never touched the earth. He will deliver someway, some time. Lean on him and just do your best. He has taught me so many things in my waiting. I have gained valuable lessons that will make me a better mother. If you are mourning the loss of a child in any way, or the feeling that you'll never know motherhood, I am praying for you, and I love you. YOU are a daughter of the creator of the universe. He numbered the stars in the universe and the hairs on your head. YOU are not forgotten.