- C O N F I D E N C E -
Confidence is something I have always lacked. I get told I’m funny a lot but I think this has been a defence mechanism as I have always just lacked the confidence in my body and how i look.
I’ve never been a skinny girl, well apart from when I was 18, going through a rough time and dropped to a size 8, guess what, still wasn’t happy and had zero confidence! And at my biggest, well a 14 was becoming scrimp and I’m only 5ft 3 so cannot carry extra baggage well at all 🙈😂.
Today, I’m a size 12 could do with shifting a good few pounds but today I am happy with how I look 6 days out of 7. I can’t pinpoint what clicked, I’m not the size I’d ideally like to be, I have jiggly bits, lumps and bumps but I’m happy!
I’m sitting here now thinking it could have everything to do with my eldest daughter...
So Brooke has had 2 open heart surgeries and many other surgeries/procedures that have left her with 28 scars scattered all over her little body... so as you can imagine raising a little girl with so many visible scars is worrying, I don’t want her to feel ashamed or self conscious about them, we can’t get rid of them we can’t change them so maybe I can teach her to love them... Brooke will be 4 next month, she’ll flash you the zipper scar down her chest at any opportunity and be happy to tell you how it got there, she’s damn proud of It! Success! If she can love herself, I can too so I go to bed at night and instead of letting my mind wander, in my head I tell myself something I felt good about today, I go buy the top I’ve been wanting but not sure I can pull it off, I experiment with make up to see what I like and feel good about wearing.
By teaching my 3 year old daughter to love herself I have finally begun to take my own advice...
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