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✝💘☕🎶✒📚ALB

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warmth by me ALB: "she hides within herself.  no one can see her unless the light hits her eyes just right and then for only a moment, a spilt second you can see her. you see how truly beautiful she is. the more you catch glimpses the more you want  to know, the more you want to see. you see the light that radiates out of her. you can feel the love and pain like raindrops on your skin, when you make eye contact with her. its all right there, hiding right below the surface. there is this glowing yellow warmth that shoots out from her eyes when you see her and she knows you saw her. her wings spread and she flies away, taking the warmth, the love, the light with her. she goes into the night looking like a falling star with its golden scar."

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golden moments by ALB "are you ready? you have to go." called a voice repeating in my mind. "come on let's go." this echos back and forth, bouncing off the walls of my mind. suddenly the lights flash rapidly, the crowd roars, butterflies begin trying to break there way out of my stomach. my mind goes black, thoughts roar through my head like a waterfall pouring into a river.  a single ray of light blacked out everything. the crowd roars, the voice re-echoes in my mind, faces fly by like an eagle soaring. golden lights twinkling like stars on a summers eve, sparks fly, drums beat, guitars play, dancers dance, everything aligns. "one breath out one breath in and smile on my face." i tell myself as i step into the light."

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hope of reconnecting by me ALB: "there's a crowd of people around and he just looks only at the fire. knowing if his eyes drift up he will be looking for her. so into the fire he fixes his gaze while he flips through the memories of her in his mind. there's her laughing as he continues to stumble trying to regain his balance, and finally realising how hopeless it is because he would embarrass himself a thousand times if it meant he would hear that laugh. he feels her hand brush his as she interlocks her fingers with his palm to palm. he feels her hair tickle his nose when she hugs him. he feels himself shatter like a window when hit with a ball, when she says she can't do this anymore. that the distance is becoming too much  because it is starting to creep into their relationship. he feels as she pulls her hand out of his and moves her head off his chest. he feels her pull away and walk away. he listens to the noise of the crowd trying not to let it take control. he feels her presence and tries not to look, not to hope that maybe. maybe they can work it out, maybe they can talk, maybe the distance would be gone. it's a useless mission because as she walks towards him he feels all the feeling come crashing back tied into the hope that he was hoping to suppress that is currently filling him up like a helium balloon. he tries to go back to the fire but the moment his eyes found her he knew there was no way to move them anywhere else. “please” he thinks “please don't let me down. i don't think my heart can take it.” she's right in front of him “hi.” she says like they have only ever been pals nothing more. he nods, not trusting himself enough to speak feeling as the hope pushes harder and harder against his rib cage threatening to burst out, in a violent sudden swoop. she looks at him with those eyes that he has been dreaming about since he first had them look into his. “i was hoping we could talk.” she says. “yeah, sure.” he says she steps back, indicating that she meant now and they needed to separate from the crowd. he steps forward and together they move towards the darkness of the night."

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light in the darkness by ALB: "she has this positivity to her that you can't help but be drawn to. it pulls you towards her like a deer to headlights or a month to a flame. you are just pulled in and you don't realise it until you find you can't be torn away. like all light she lights you up. she shows you that there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel and then she helps you make your way to it. she unlocks parts of you that never knew you possessed, but now can not comprehend how you ever managed without them. she fills you with warmth to unthaw you from the cold that has long since numbed your being. she makes you laugh til you cry, makes the smile lines become more noticeable because you use them more. she shows you how to love again, how to live again. she shows you that your brokeness doesn't end you, but instead it opens you up so the light can shine through; clearer and stronger than ever. once you are standing on your own again, she gracefully exits, so you can guide the next person and her name is hope."

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sky blue eyes by me ALB: “i had a dream about you, with your sky blue eyes and soft voice making me not want to wake up; knowing that  reality wouldn't be half as good without you. i remember searching for you in a crowd and how lost i felt until i found you. i remember how you looked at me with this unwavering intensity that made me not want to look away. i remember how you spoke. how every word was its own and somehow you pieced them together into a beautiful melody. i remember the way you would look down whenever the moment became too much. like i said i didn't want to wake up and find you were no where to be seen; but i did. as the day goes on you slip further and further away, taking the peaceful calm and steadiness i felt with you on your way.”

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my love by me ALB: "she breathes to calm herself. when she does all the little moments that built up to this one moment in time, flash behind her eyelids. all the little laughs, smirks and winks. all the late nights and early mornings. all the lingerings of his finger on her arm. the way he holds her hand just for the reassurance of her existence. how she felt when she first laid eyes on him, how her heart beats five times faster whenever he looks at her. the way he dances only with her because of her unrelenting patience. everything, all the hugs that say everything you can't, all smiles that wash away any trace of doubt that ever entered her mind. how he lights up when she comes in the room because she does it too. how she knows that he is hers and she is his. she knows that if she focuses on him and him only the aisle, the people the nerves will all disappear; so that's what she does. so she breathes to calm herself and she looks only at the hazel brown eyes that are waiting for her at the other end of the aisle."

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no surprises by me ALB: “i am so done with surprises!!!” she screamed. “they have never once in my life been a good thing and i am done with them. no more surprises!” she yelled. “ not from you,  not from other people , not from anyone!!!!!! no more surprises!” she sobbed doubling over “no more.” she cried “i cant handle anymore surprises. i cant” she said as a sob came raging through her. “no more. please tell me you won't surprise me. don't lie to me don't  hurt yourself. don't die suddenly out of nowhere! just-” another sob interrupted her, “dont surprise me. dont! i don't care how wonderful the surprise might be. i don't want it i don't want to be blindsided! so don't!” she screamed as the tears poured down her cheeks like rain. “dont surprise me!!” with that she stopped,  the pain became too much and all she could do was let it tear her apart. she didn't hold back any part of herself. all her past hurts came pounding back at once like a wrecking ball that shattered her last hold on anything. she cried, she sobbed, she screamed until she had no voice, she let it all out and he just held her. he knew he could do nothing else so he simply held her. he was just there and that's all she needed. just someone to be there to hold her close through it all."

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untitled byme ALB: "the world keeps turning even though mine seems to be stuck in one moment of time. it plays on a continuous loop over and over again. i see you walking away. i hear you saying goodbye. i feel the water pull me under as my lungs begin screaming for air. i want to call your name. i want to run in front of you and stop you before you make it to the door; but i can't move. it's like my feet are tree roots embedded in the ground never to be moved. i cant make the lump in my throat move enough to just croak out one word. i cant move. i cant breathe. i cant see. you keep walking away and i fade into the darkness. "please." i say before the darkness consumes me completely as i fall to the ground. when my eyes open there are your eyes. i have never seen them this illuminated, pain, worry and love are all mixed into the chocolate brown eyes looking into mine. "hey." you whisper."

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ocean kisses dedicated to @bhavyathakkar_ by me ALB "she comes to dance with the ocean. she knows it will never lose its patience. it will only embrace her in her shortcomings. it will not chastise or harm her. it will protect and comfort her. it will be nothing but a loving escape for her. never failing in its consuming presence or its warmth. it will rush to greet her like an old friend, tickling her toes, pulling her in for an embrace, and kissing her cheeks. it is as happy as she is to dance with one another for a little while and forget the rest of world. it is just her and her dearest friend, the ocean."

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default by me ALB: "i go back to you. its like you are my default and that's not fair. its not fair to you or to me. because you love, deserve someone who makes you their go to person for everything. not someone who puts you in their back pocket and only pulls you out when their world is falling apart. you deserve someone who comes squealing in the room when they haven't seen you for ages and won't stop hugging you because they cant believe you are real. you deserve someone who is comfortable enough around you that they dont feel the need to talk all the time but genuinely enjoys the silence. you derserve someone who you light up for and the weight that you are carrying becomes instantly lighter whenever they walk in the room. i am not that person for you. i never was nor could i ever hope to be that person for you. because in truth that was never who i was supposed to be to you nor you to me. we weren't meant for each other and that is okay. we were meant to lead the other to the person who would do all of this and more for each other. we were meant to break each other open for the next one. that is what we were. we were a beautiful, tragic, at the wrong time and place mess. never meant to stay in one anothers lives for more than a season."

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inspired by 9-11 written by me ALB "it was just another day. i remember  telling you “i love you”, not knowing it would be the last time i told you that or that i would  hear you say that to me. i remember the plans we had for when we got off work later that day. i remember  how happy the thought of those plans and of you, made me. i remember walking down the street on my way to work like this was going to be the greatest day of my life instead of the worst. it was supposed to to be a wonderful moment in time. then i saw the smoke, i heard the sirens, the news flashed every where and the world stopped turning. i know you. i remember thinking that over and over and i know that while you would never try to intentionally hurt another living soul you would sacrifice your self to save someone else. i know this because you said me. you saved me in so many ways and not just in the literal sense. you saved me from falling off the edge where there would be no way back. you were the one who showed me the light everytime it was dark. i knew you would try to make it back to me. i knew you would because thats who you are. you would do your job, you would put out fires and calm people down. you would make sure they got the help they needed, you would walk into the thick of it if it meant you would bring someone back. you would do all this trying to get back to me but you wouldnt give a second thought for yourself. you never did i took care of you and you took care of me not the other way around but i hoped, i prayed that today it would be. that you would look out for yourself that you would listen to your buddies on the squad when they said it was too dangerous to go back in. i prayed you would make it back to me. but you never did and though i prayed you would in the truest deepest part of my soul i knew i wouldn't see you again. i knew that i would lose you. i knew that you would go back in for that one person screaming for help even if it meant you didnt come out. i knew you would do it because i knew you. you were so strong and brave and you showed me how to be so much more than i ever thought i could be." continued⬇⬇⬇

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concept written by me ALB: "we come here, just the two of us, we curl up in each others arms attempting to stay warm because neither of us thought it would be this cold. we listen to the sounds of nature in distance, we laugh when our breath comes out in puffs, all while the stars in the night sky shine like we have never seen them before. we remain until sunrise and watch as the sun dances across the snow on the mountain top right in front of us. slowly and then rapidly just before the light consumes the darkness you whisper quietly, "thank you for being my light in the darkness."

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in honour of springs birthday today. i am making a post dedicated to her because she is absolutely amazing and honestly an angel. i love you so much spring!!!!! here is something written by her in honour of today being her day. "This house is nothing but the stage of long sleeves trying to put me to sleep They dance and sing with their shades, knowing that I am afraid. Then it rains, it wets my wings, I would run like a deer, looking for a place with no fear My feet reach the ocean's shore, I like this warmth that's about to leave But that's ok, waves are the only things you need even after they disappear There he was, cute cheeks with eyes that could make you dream Of a smile that felt like June during a winter nobody would beat And of arms that feel like home, not too cold and not too lone, just a little bright with a heart and soul I have been dealing with this alone, taste the home in things I don't own As I begun to see his tears, the ocean planted a kiss on my ribs A little too hard it made me fall, slipped on the sands with bloody scars The water glue could heal them all, So I get lost in blue as it fills my lungs Now my body is where it belongs and my soul? It died with every tear he dropped..." by @springaingeal

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today is @bhavyathakkar_ birthday so in honour of that here is a photo of hers and something written by her. coming home by @bhavyathakkar_ : "where i am is not where i live. i live in some place else, it's a place in my own mind, it's my own universe, with all sorts of different people, that is my home. it's a place where there are different surroundings, surroundings which are my home. where i am right now, is a place i escape from, not because i don't like it but it's just not my home. i live somewhere else, far away from here, and I'll  find my home someday. and when i'll reach there, I'll run but I'll run out of breath, I'll cry but I'll cry out of happiness, and when i close my eyes under the rain i think I'll be home."

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written by the insanely talented @farnaz.fairy "I'm perfectly happy spending whole days lost in books ,yes you heard me "happy" is what i am.If I ever held back , If i ever made a total fool of myself you may say that I was nothing but a scardy-cat ,too afraid to fly too timid to even try . But what if I wasn't just scared but broken ,my wings were clipped and those scars hidden beneath me quenching the glow of a heart which once i thought could've been made of crystallits. And was there any light? Any light at all? You see perfection is just a frame of mind ,playing games in your head ,telling me to shut up,"I'm the only dress you can wear,the only term you must never forget and the only road to take and stroll in." It's like a never ending sound in my head. And when she came and told me to deaf despite this mess that was when I realized who I truly am ,I was my own hero my own best friend . Wounds may heal and scars may not but love will heal us all."

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why the ocean mean so much to me ALB: "i go to the ocean whenever i want to feel truly alive and so incredibly small. the ocean stretches into this vast expanse of space and standing on the side of it is me. little old me. so i come to the ocean to gain perspective, because i know that by being in the ocean and feeling its strength and power will undoubtedly show me how small i truly am. i am a dot a grain of sand to the ocean and honestly to the universe at large. i am soo small we all are. so go to the ocean, look at the stars in the night sky, look at the world below you when you are standing on a mountain top and you will soon realise that you are in fact not as big as you thought you were. nor are your problems as big as they seem in the moment when compared to the grand scheme of things. life is so short, so fleeting, so small, you don't need the world to know you are here, you need the people who mean more to you than life itself to know you. they mean so much more than the world because they will know who you truly are. you don't need thousands of people to know your name in order to live a great life because love. thats all they will know. your name and name only. they wont know what races through your mind when you are nervous or trying to sleep. they wont know why what you love most and who you love most mean as much to you as they do. so dont worry if only a 100 people know who you are make sure that you make it so much more than that so much deeper. love with your whole being, get your heart broken and bubbles popped just live and when life is too much go to the ocean, look to the stars, take some time to gain perspective and try again ."

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concept written by me ALB: "we are sitting at a sidewalk café in paris. we watch as all the elegant people make their way through the street. some are laughing, some are crying, yelling, and some simply enjoying the stroll. we sit and watch the world as it turns. no stress, no pressure, no assignments due. just, you, me and a sidewalk café in paris."

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Call it what you want to TS "My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown, but it's alright All the liars are calling me one Nobody's heard from me for months I'm doing better than I ever was, 'cause My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to All my flowers grew back as thorns Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressin' up as kings They fade to nothing when I look at him And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right I did one thing right I'm laughing with my lover, making forts under covers Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to I want to wear his initial On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me Which is more than they can say, I I recall late November, holdin' my breath Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me But would you run away with me?" Yes (would you run away?) My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to Call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want To."

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