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TheTakeBack2018

The Take Back 2018 is an initiative to help those who have been victimized by someone. It's time to take back what they stole from you. #TTB2018

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Sis 🤔😉🙄🤦

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Day 8 Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be in a position to share such horrible experiences however when we use our gifts for good you don't know who's listening or watching. Do I see myself as a broken person.... Absolutely! Do I operate as a broken person...Nope! My grieving isn't for everyone and yes I do still grieve over my marriage. Not the person involved but for the simple fact that to me marriage is forever and something I only wanted to do once! I look at myself and I see a vibrant, funny, beautiful and ambitious woman and think like God, how does someone not only disrespect but not appreciate a woman like myself. I had all of my wild thang days out if my system and was totally committed..so who doesn't respect that? Who doesn't want that? My answers didn't come until I realized that it was them and not me. We will go to battle with ourselves and emotions racking our brains, staying up all night losing sleep, losing weight, making ourselves sick trying to figure it out! Let them figure it out!! If they care..Not You!! Once we realize who matters, what matters and why it matters then there will be no purpose in what they did to dwell on 😉 Tomorrow I'll tell y'all what I found out! #nationaldomesticawarenessmonth

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I created this video to show you all that there is life after..abuse, betrayal, disappointments, neglect, disloyalty, abandonments, frustration, non support, fear and criticism. We all have a winner in us! And I believe that so many are right on the cusp of a breakthrough. Happy Sunday!

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Day 7 Ok so I have that Gemini/Cancer thing about me..and when we love we love hard, We fight for whatever we feel that we deserve, We care about everything that person cares about but when all that love, fight and caring is gone so are we. I look back and realize yeah I fought a good fight to try to.save the relationship, I offered therapy, counseling, he was never alone to handle anything by himself. But there was a lot of hurt in between aside from the physical abuse there was tons of mental abuse as well. The last conversation I had with him I remember trying to pray for him and he hung up. There was never any contact from me again. In May he called and asked me could he come back 😂😂😂😂 "Come back where" Helllllllll No!! And since I knew that conversation wasn't going to lead to nothing but me being all kinds of bitches and hoes I blocked him. 19 times he called..Nope I can't do it. Go away!! Go ruin someone else's life!! Leave me be! Oh yeah when you finally decide you are done..there is no finale..just walk and no looking back!! #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth

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Day 6 Everyday isn't bad..from the time the decision was made to leave the relationship every thing that you had or have a desire to do will surface. You really don't know God's plan for your life until you release the thing that's been holding you back. Once I realized that there was freedom for me to redevelop my dreams and work towards my goals without the fear of making someone feel intimidated I started to have different wants and needs. Instead of the man/child you once thought you wanted for the rest of your life a real man appears and is a ready made "everything you need" Someone who knows the difference between treating a woman like a woman and not a girl. Someone who has respect for every female that he comes in contact with. Someone who understands what it means to be gentle with a fragile heart. But most importantly someone who God has sent and chosen just for you. The process is agonizing but definitely worth it! Work through it! Pray about it! Give it to Him! 😘🤗 #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth

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Day 4 All abuse isn't always physical..it can be mental and emotional as well. I know this picture is blurred but it tells a story. Me and the kids were in Cleveland visiting and upon my decision to leave after being held hostage a few days before we were chased from the house where my car sat in the driveway. He took my son's phone so I couldn't call anyone. It was raining hard and my children and I were left to walk up 143rd by St. Clair alone. So this person allowed us to stand on their porch until the rain let up which was for like almost 2 hours..we were only a few houses down when I heard boom boom and glass shattering. This person pulls and asks did I want to use his phone..I said of course..called the police and a couple other people..3 hours later the police called the person's phone back to say they were on their way to the house. When we got there the officer walked to the back of the house where my car was parked and there it was 4 brand new tires flat with my front and back windows completely shattered and broken. So the officer asks him if he did it and if course he says no then the officer turns to me and says unfortunately in the state of Ohio all property is considered joint property when you're married..I almost lost my mind..I was ready to give up..and risk it all..my mind went to the darkest place it could and had thoughts of ending his life right there..but you know what God held me all the way together to the point of me handling it like a champ. This!!! All because I wanted to go home!! I still cannot be-lieve that this happened!! But the lesson was it could have been worse. I could be dead..I mean not living living..that car can be replaced..was replaced but my life couldn't. When it comes down to the point of walking away from everything in order to have peace in your life Do IT! Things can be purchased again, Houses can be rented again, Your life can begin again..but the life you've been given can not. You can't go back and say I want to live again, I want a do over, Raise me from the dead, Ok I'll listen this time. Once it's done it's done and guess what..they're still living and stuff 🤷 #nationaldomesticawarenessmonth

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Day 3 I didn't understand as to why these horrible things happened at or after the 3am hour until I was the one who was on the outside looking in. They say that 3am was the devil's hour and just like clockwork every time he would put his hands on me it would come from no where in the middle of the night..at first I thought it was his drinking and not taking his medications that contributed to his aggressive behaviors but later I found out that there was deeper levels to him not wanting to control his actions. The things he would do and say just didn't make sense and because I didn't believe in the things that he believed then I was one of "them" the people who would "follow" him on social media and had a secret page created to let anyone know where he was at any given time. He would say that when someone sneezed, coughed, cleared their throat, stood a certain way, said specific words ect that they were one of "them" and were letting other people know where he was. Absurd? Absolutely and I never agreed with him but it didn't stop me from trying to get him the help he needed badly. I called on people to help me, to pray and to give insight as to what I should do and they would either laugh, didn't care or wouldn't even show interest until there was "drama". My point in saying all this is that when things become seemingly out of our control..more than likely it is an unfixable situation for us. Trying to help or change someone who isn't willing to help or change for themselves is a lost situation. He knew I had a soft spot for his illness and he played on it and me all the time through manipulative tactics such as OD'ing on his meds, attempting suicide, crying, lying and making it seem like things were my fault. Eventually I caught on to what he was doing and said enough. People with good hearts often fall for those we love repeatedly because it's in our nature so never feel bad for attempting to do the right things but also understand that to an abuser any type of sincerety is unrecognizable unless it benefits them. #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth

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Day 2....I remember this day clearly..I tried to leave as I did on many occasions. This punch sent my glasses flying under the car as I fell to the ground leaving me blinded in one eye. Some people would probably say "girl you're stupid" or "I would have done this or that" How do you know that this is what you would do? How do you know that if I had acted off of emotion that I wouldn't be in jail right now for killing him? It's either him or me right? Wrong!! Some people are so miserable that they want you to hurt them in some type of way to ruin your life. I had to realize that at some point enough was enough. I had to stand on my own two feet and walk away because most of all my children needed me. I can not express the many times that I called the police to help me and they took his side..the family members I needed to tell to get away but insisted that I show him a different way to live..the disappointments continued and things only got worse..until I did something about it. If you know some who is in a domestic violence relationship please talk to them..have interventions..remind them that the other person has absolutely nothing to lose so why would they care about them. #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth

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Imagine being held hostage in a house for 8 hours and being beaten the entire time..Imagine hearing a person tell your children to say goodbye to your mother because she's about to die..Imagine going in and out of consciousness after having over 100 direct blows to your head...Imagine screaming to the top of your lungs for someone to come and help you but no one ever comes...Imagine having a steel coffee mug thrown at your head...imagine someone putting you in the choke hold until you pass out...imagine being beaten with steel curtain rods and having a cable wire wrapped around your neck..imagine a person accusing your child of letting random people in the house so that their mom could have sex with them...imagine your children feeling helpless as you lay there being smacked, kicked, punched, having lit cigarettes flicked on you and spit on...imagine trying to plan an escape to get your kids out but you can't get up or walk because your legs and knees are all beat up... Imagine not being able to move your mouth because your jaw is broken..imagine hearing your children screaming please don't kill my mother...imagine not being able to lie down for days because of your injuries..imagine being bruised from your neck all the way down to your ankles...this was me in November 2017 done at the hands of someone who claimed that they loved me..someone I thought would never hurt me like this..it's so easy to blame ourselves when these type of things happen but when you deal with someone who doesn't have any self control the end result could be worse than what happened to me. If you are noticing signs that things are so out of control that you may get hurt.. please leave!

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I know that October has many different significances however to me National Domestic Violence Awareness Month rings very loudly. Through out the month I will be sharing different stories of survival and of some who were not so fortunate to survive in efforts to encourage someone to #GetOut I become very saddened when I hear that a person has passed away at the hands of another person especially when what takes a moment for someone to do but takes a lifetime to repair. Keep me in your prayers y'all cause this will be hard for me but it needs to be done

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The kindest hearts often receive the most scars..we want to see the good in those who aren't even good to themselves. We should probably reevaluate how we love people and then base it on how they live, how they love on themselves, how they practice self care and so on. Giving yourself to someone who isn't already complete will leave you with nothing less than a broken heart.

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Smh...this is ridiculous

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Hey Everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been posting here lately I've been really busy..but I hope and pray that you all are doing well and in good mental health 😊 I still need you guys because times do get bad for me and please remember I'm still here for all of you 😘🤗

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#Repost @derrickjaxn • • • • • Why She Forgave You, But Is Still Acting ‘Different’... #Throwback

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#Repost @derrickjaxn • • • • • Why She Forgave You, But Is Still Acting ‘Different’... #Throwback

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#Gaslighting at it's finest...somehow someway we lose ourselves in these people. The love they should have for us becomes a one sided force that now we hold all the love..for us and them..where they do that at? We look for complete validation from a person who can't even validate themselves. We give wholeheartedly while they take our whole hearts..see where I'm going..call em out on their BS..don't fall for the Okie doke no more..however with narcs just know it won't change nothing but at least you'll feel better knowing you hit him with the nahhh not this time bruh

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We are currently planning a tour called "Giving in to Surviving..inspiring those who are or were victims of domestic violence and giving them a platform to speak out. We are in need of speakers, locations, event hosts, and much more. Our first stop of course will be Denver, Colorado!! Please send any and all info to girlonfireinternational@gmail.com

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I love that you keep telling me how much I hurt you, not knowing that, to me, this is like a free marketing report, which lets me know how effective my tactics have been to keep you in pain, focused on alleviating my pain — so that I am ever the winner in this competition — ensuring that you never weaken (control) me with your love- and emotional-closeness stuff. In short, when I say “I love you,” I love the power I have to remain a mystery that you’ll never solve because of what you do not know (and refuse to believe), that: the only one who can win this zero-sum-winner-takes-all game is the one who knows “the rules.” My sense of power rests on ensuring you never succeed at persuading me to join you in creating a mutually-kind relationship because, in my worldview, being vulnerable, emotionally expressive, kind, caring, empathetic, innocent are signs of weakness, proof of inferiority. Thanks, but no thanks, I’m resolved to stay on my winner-takes-all ground, ever in competition for the prize, gloating in my narcissistic ability to be heartless, callous, cold, calculating … and proud, to ensure my neediness for a sense of superiority isn’t hampered. PS: I really, really need help — but you CANNOT do this work for me (not without making things worse for both of us!). Remember, we’re co-addicted to each other, so we’d never go to an addict to get help, right? Only a therapist, with experience in this, stands a chance, and even then, only if I choose to really, really, really let him/her! (That’s because I’d have to face my greatest fear that, not only am I not superior to everyone and thus not entitled to make and break rules as I please, but I’d also have to own — that my own actions, thoughts and beliefs about myself and others — are THE main cause of the suffering in my life … and changing them, THE solution. I could not would not ever want to do this for the sole reason that, from my worldview, only the feeble-minded and weak do such things!) Source – PsychCentral By Athena Staik, Ph.D. Published with permission from the author

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