And the way Karma is set up A very bad day is coming!!
This one sided mess has got to stop..choose opposites that's how you will be able to tell who is trying to imitate or be a chameleon to get closer to you. One of the tactics a narc uses is to act as if they are interested in the same things that you are. My Ex knew that I was into helping others and giving back to the community then told me he wanted to change his life around and develop a program for at risk youth to prevent them from going to prison. Needless to say it was all lies but he knew exactly what to say to me to draw me closer.
I can think of a few who I should have blew past but you know what I watched Karma do you bad soooo...Fuck you... Fuck you...You Cool...I'm out ✌️
Day 8 Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be in a position to share such horrible experiences however when we use our gifts for good you don't know who's listening or watching. Do I see myself as a broken person.... Absolutely! Do I operate as a broken person...Nope! My grieving isn't for everyone and yes I do still grieve over my marriage. Not the person involved but for the simple fact that to me marriage is forever and something I only wanted to do once! I look at myself and I see a vibrant, funny, beautiful and ambitious woman and think like God, how does someone not only disrespect but not appreciate a woman like myself. I had all of my wild thang days out if my system and was totally committed..so who doesn't respect that? Who doesn't want that? My answers didn't come until I realized that it was them and not me. We will go to battle with ourselves and emotions racking our brains, staying up all night losing sleep, losing weight, making ourselves sick trying to figure it out! Let them figure it out!! If they care..Not You!! Once we realize who matters, what matters and why it matters then there will be no purpose in what they did to dwell on 😉 Tomorrow I'll tell y'all what I found out! #nationaldomesticawarenessmonth
I created this video to show you all that there is life after..abuse, betrayal, disappointments, neglect, disloyalty, abandonments, frustration, non support, fear and criticism. We all have a winner in us! And I believe that so many are right on the cusp of a breakthrough. Happy Sunday!
Day 7 Ok so I have that Gemini/Cancer thing about me..and when we love we love hard, We fight for whatever we feel that we deserve, We care about everything that person cares about but when all that love, fight and caring is gone so are we. I look back and realize yeah I fought a good fight to try to.save the relationship, I offered therapy, counseling, he was never alone to handle anything by himself. But there was a lot of hurt in between aside from the physical abuse there was tons of mental abuse as well. The last conversation I had with him I remember trying to pray for him and he hung up. There was never any contact from me again. In May he called and asked me could he come back 😂😂😂😂 "Come back where" Helllllllll No!! And since I knew that conversation wasn't going to lead to nothing but me being all kinds of bitches and hoes I blocked him. 19 times he called..Nope I can't do it. Go away!! Go ruin someone else's life!! Leave me be! Oh yeah when you finally decide you are done..there is no finale..just walk and no looking back!! #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth
Day 6 Everyday isn't bad..from the time the decision was made to leave the relationship every thing that you had or have a desire to do will surface. You really don't know God's plan for your life until you release the thing that's been holding you back. Once I realized that there was freedom for me to redevelop my dreams and work towards my goals without the fear of making someone feel intimidated I started to have different wants and needs. Instead of the man/child you once thought you wanted for the rest of your life a real man appears and is a ready made "everything you need" Someone who knows the difference between treating a woman like a woman and not a girl. Someone who has respect for every female that he comes in contact with. Someone who understands what it means to be gentle with a fragile heart. But most importantly someone who God has sent and chosen just for you. The process is agonizing but definitely worth it! Work through it! Pray about it! Give it to Him! 😘🤗 #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth
Day 4 All abuse isn't always physical..it can be mental and emotional as well. I know this picture is blurred but it tells a story. Me and the kids were in Cleveland visiting and upon my decision to leave after being held hostage a few days before we were chased from the house where my car sat in the driveway. He took my son's phone so I couldn't call anyone. It was raining hard and my children and I were left to walk up 143rd by St. Clair alone. So this person allowed us to stand on their porch until the rain let up which was for like almost 2 hours..we were only a few houses down when I heard boom boom and glass shattering. This person pulls and asks did I want to use his phone..I said of course..called the police and a couple other people..3 hours later the police called the person's phone back to say they were on their way to the house. When we got there the officer walked to the back of the house where my car was parked and there it was 4 brand new tires flat with my front and back windows completely shattered and broken. So the officer asks him if he did it and if course he says no then the officer turns to me and says unfortunately in the state of Ohio all property is considered joint property when you're married..I almost lost my mind..I was ready to give up..and risk it all..my mind went to the darkest place it could and had thoughts of ending his life right there..but you know what God held me all the way together to the point of me handling it like a champ. This!!! All because I wanted to go home!! I still cannot be-lieve that this happened!! But the lesson was it could have been worse. I could be dead..I mean not living living..that car can be replaced..was replaced but my life couldn't. When it comes down to the point of walking away from everything in order to have peace in your life Do IT! Things can be purchased again, Houses can be rented again, Your life can begin again..but the life you've been given can not. You can't go back and say I want to live again, I want a do over, Raise me from the dead, Ok I'll listen this time. Once it's done it's done and guess what..they're still living and stuff 🤷 #nationaldomesticawarenessmonth
Day 3 I didn't understand as to why these horrible things happened at or after the 3am hour until I was the one who was on the outside looking in. They say that 3am was the devil's hour and just like clockwork every time he would put his hands on me it would come from no where in the middle of the night..at first I thought it was his drinking and not taking his medications that contributed to his aggressive behaviors but later I found out that there was deeper levels to him not wanting to control his actions. The things he would do and say just didn't make sense and because I didn't believe in the things that he believed then I was one of "them" the people who would "follow" him on social media and had a secret page created to let anyone know where he was at any given time. He would say that when someone sneezed, coughed, cleared their throat, stood a certain way, said specific words ect that they were one of "them" and were letting other people know where he was. Absurd? Absolutely and I never agreed with him but it didn't stop me from trying to get him the help he needed badly. I called on people to help me, to pray and to give insight as to what I should do and they would either laugh, didn't care or wouldn't even show interest until there was "drama". My point in saying all this is that when things become seemingly out of our control..more than likely it is an unfixable situation for us. Trying to help or change someone who isn't willing to help or change for themselves is a lost situation. He knew I had a soft spot for his illness and he played on it and me all the time through manipulative tactics such as OD'ing on his meds, attempting suicide, crying, lying and making it seem like things were my fault. Eventually I caught on to what he was doing and said enough. People with good hearts often fall for those we love repeatedly because it's in our nature so never feel bad for attempting to do the right things but also understand that to an abuser any type of sincerety is unrecognizable unless it benefits them. #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth
Day 2....I remember this day clearly..I tried to leave as I did on many occasions. This punch sent my glasses flying under the car as I fell to the ground leaving me blinded in one eye. Some people would probably say "girl you're stupid" or "I would have done this or that" How do you know that this is what you would do? How do you know that if I had acted off of emotion that I wouldn't be in jail right now for killing him? It's either him or me right? Wrong!! Some people are so miserable that they want you to hurt them in some type of way to ruin your life. I had to realize that at some point enough was enough. I had to stand on my own two feet and walk away because most of all my children needed me. I can not express the many times that I called the police to help me and they took his side..the family members I needed to tell to get away but insisted that I show him a different way to live..the disappointments continued and things only got worse..until I did something about it. If you know some who is in a domestic violence relationship please talk to them..have interventions..remind them that the other person has absolutely nothing to lose so why would they care about them. #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessmonth